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mickeymIn re-reading (and tagging and locking) past entries, I found that on this date in 2005 there was an amusing discussion (and a lot of twitching) in my journal about that Best of the Best of Badfics, the Lava Lamp Story.
Me, personally, I think it should be required reading for popslashers *g* Or anyone, really, but since the characters are pop boys, well. It's really special if you can findan idiot a victim someone really stupid someone to read it outloud at a gathering. Ahem.
1. turgid meat pressing against the cleft of his cheeks
2. The musky manliness of Lance wafted up to JC's nose
3. The bulbous head of JC's dick
4. his wiry pubes scratching his upturned ass
5. pull his tumescent dick from Lance's clenching orifice
6. His massive member slick with Lance's insides
7. Chris' tight rosebud
8. effectively spearing himself on JC's probing digit
9. lapped up JC's essence
10. head of his bloated cock
11. The fiery cum which had erupted from his member a few moments ago was cooling in a liquid pool
12. dripping a steady river of precum
13. the piss slit belched forth its white treasure
14. their twin towers of terror began pulsating
15. began to lap up the intoxicating mixture as it continued to drain out of Chris' stretched hole.
So. Anyone have any additions to that list? *g* Or want to nominate their, *koff* 'favorite' off that list? Personally, I'm torn between #6 and #13 as my favorite ;)
ETA: For the love of Chris, people, don't read behind the cut if you're squeamish and eating! *g* I don't want to have to feel guilty about ruining anyone else's meals :)
Me, personally, I think it should be required reading for popslashers *g* Or anyone, really, but since the characters are pop boys, well. It's really special if you can find
1. turgid meat pressing against the cleft of his cheeks
2. The musky manliness of Lance wafted up to JC's nose
3. The bulbous head of JC's dick
4. his wiry pubes scratching his upturned ass
5. pull his tumescent dick from Lance's clenching orifice
6. His massive member slick with Lance's insides
7. Chris' tight rosebud
8. effectively spearing himself on JC's probing digit
9. lapped up JC's essence
10. head of his bloated cock
11. The fiery cum which had erupted from his member a few moments ago was cooling in a liquid pool
12. dripping a steady river of precum
13. the piss slit belched forth its white treasure
14. their twin towers of terror began pulsating
15. began to lap up the intoxicating mixture as it continued to drain out of Chris' stretched hole.
So. Anyone have any additions to that list? *g* Or want to nominate their, *koff* 'favorite' off that list? Personally, I'm torn between #6 and #13 as my favorite ;)
ETA: For the love of Chris, people, don't read behind the cut if you're squeamish and eating! *g* I don't want to have to feel guilty about ruining anyone else's meals :)
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no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 02:02 pm (UTC)We'll have
victimnominated reader at Camp Sparkle, so I suspect the Lava Lamp story will be making an re-appearance.Aha. Oh, God. I just went to look at the story again. My eyes! One of my favourite lines is (for, you know, very liberal definitions of the word 'favourite') the description of Lance's dick as 'The base
> alone was thicker than his wrist.' That's usually the point at which I'm laughing so much I can no longer breathe.
However, for sheer terrifyingness, it's hard to beat:
> JC moved his face just inches away from Lance's. He gazed into Lance's hypnotic green orbs. He could see the fear in them and he was the cause of it. JC gently caressed Lance's face, tracing the outline of his jaw. He, then, picked up Lance's hands in his own and kissed the knuckles gently. "James," he began. Immediately, Lance looked at him. He knew that JC only used his first name when he was really serious. "I'm sorry for scaring you. I just want you. I want to make love to you." Another gentle kiss on Lance's hands. "I would never do anything to hurt you. I just want to show you how much I truly do care about you" JC bowed his head. He tried to suppress the tears welling up within him but could not as he sobbed out three more words: "I love you!"
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Date: 2007-02-13 02:18 pm (UTC)Really? Most any line from that story is memorable. And identifiable. *g* And incredibly scary, whether in or out of context ;)
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Date: 2007-02-13 02:28 pm (UTC)Also, I love that in that first part everything is all weepy and 'Oh, James!', and yet we all know that Lance is concealing the fiery bulbous weeping throbbing Monster Dick Of Doom, just waiting for its moment to tear free of its leather prison and attack!!!
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Date: 2007-02-13 02:32 pm (UTC)I'm not sure either, but actually, I feel (pretty much) the same way. So, it says it about both of us ;)
Lance is concealing the fiery bulbous weeping throbbing Monster Dick Of Doom, just waiting for its moment to tear free of its leather prison and attack!!!
That? Needs to be a sig line, in the *worst* way *eg* Or at least the 'fiery bulbous weeping throbbing Monster Dick of Doom (MDoD)'. Oh, yes. :P
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Date: 2007-02-13 02:40 pm (UTC)Ahaha! Now I want to comb through the story, collect every adjective used to describe Lance's dick, and make an icon.
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Date: 2007-02-13 02:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 02:43 pm (UTC)I think it says something about fandom that we all have our own lava lamp icons uploaded to use.
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Date: 2007-02-13 03:10 pm (UTC)Indeed it does.
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Date: 2007-02-13 03:50 pm (UTC)twistedhighly creative! ;)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 02:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 02:20 pm (UTC)Me, I'm just amused. I've become so innured to that story that all I can do is laugh. Yay! No more terror!
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Date: 2007-02-13 02:04 pm (UTC)Mine are just totally and utterly minor next to those. I'm tired of the word "carded," even if I have used it myself in the past. Also "ghosted." Ditto. And there's another one I can't remember right now.
But those can't hold a candle to y'all's. ::YIKES::
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Date: 2007-02-13 02:23 pm (UTC)No, really *g*
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Date: 2007-02-13 02:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 02:24 pm (UTC)Oh--that probably didn't help your eyes, did it? *offers a tissue*
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Date: 2007-02-13 02:59 pm (UTC)I'd join!
Look, Chris and Lamp say do it too!
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Date: 2007-02-13 03:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 02:10 pm (UTC)*musters courage* Right. I'm going in.
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Date: 2007-02-13 02:25 pm (UTC)*Dude*
Get thee hence and *read*!
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Date: 2007-02-13 02:41 pm (UTC)Ah, yes.
Just for bonus hilarity, I had another look at
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Date: 2007-02-13 03:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 02:11 pm (UTC)By
> tightening his ass cheeks, it caused
> the remainder of the lamp to bury itself deep
> inside of his straining hole.
> The only thing that remained outside of Chris'
> full ass was the cord to plug
> in the lamp.
Only the flex was left outside! The visuals I get!
Then this JC traced a line down Chris' back which caused
> Chris to look at him. JC
> smiled and said, "So, did you like your
> punishment?"
>
> Chris grasped hold of JC's and Lance's dick,
> placed a kiss on each of their
> lips and said, "Definitely. When can we do it
> again?"
Because Chris has just had a lava lamp shoved inside him so obviously he wants to do it again!
I will never tire of this story, ever!
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Date: 2007-02-13 02:27 pm (UTC)Because Chris has just had a lava lamp shoved inside him so obviously he wants to do it again!
Obviously! Wouldn't everyone want a repeat??
How the hell does Lance maintain consciousness when he gets a boner? That's the REAL question I want answered!
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Date: 2007-02-13 02:42 pm (UTC)The additional pumping action provided by his pulsating, throbbing dick keeps his blood pressure up, obviously!
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Date: 2007-02-14 03:46 am (UTC)Also, related to nothing in this post, I completely forgot I was supposed to send you that recipe. I'll (hopefully) take it with me to work in the morning, and send it from there :)
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Date: 2007-02-13 03:05 pm (UTC)How the hell does Lance maintain consciousness when he gets a boner?
Personally I think that Lance's dick is a separate entity that just happens to be attached to his groin. I mean, look When Lance's dick head finally emerged from > the leather pants. It eats its way through Lance's leather pants! At night Lance dick probably runs around the room, snapping its teeth and wanting to delve into unsuspecting asses.
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Date: 2007-02-13 03:55 pm (UTC)and NOW I have this visual of that giant space slug that tries to eat the Millenium Falcon, in Empire Strikes Back.
Talk about When Fandoms Collide!
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Date: 2007-02-13 02:36 pm (UTC)> full ass was the cord to plug
> in the lamp.
That may just be the most redundant adjective ever used in the whole history of the written word.
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Date: 2007-02-13 03:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 03:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 04:02 pm (UTC)He could feel the scalding heat scorch his insides as Lance pushed the lamp deeper
I decided to spare you the rest of that sentence ;)
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Date: 2007-02-13 05:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 05:39 pm (UTC)And it SHOWS.
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Date: 2007-02-13 05:26 pm (UTC)He'd be like your own personal glow worm.
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Date: 2007-02-13 05:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 05:38 pm (UTC)Though I guess I was the one who brought up Tigger in your picture-essay of the LLS...
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Date: 2007-02-13 07:00 pm (UTC)When I reached the end of the story, I was sincerely disappointed that they hadn't done that. I feel Chris glowing from the inside would've really added something to an already unique reading experience.
On the other hand, the story makes up for it with the final line.
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Date: 2007-02-13 03:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 04:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 03:45 pm (UTC)Dammit, I was eating a bowl of oatmeal when I read this post, and now I'm not sure I can finish it.
Also, looking back at your pictorial, it strikes me how well the marionettes lend themsselves to story-telling. Like here (http://www.dirtystory.net/kerfuffle.html) in the book Ashley made me a couple of years ago. I think it's something about the maniacal, happily psychotic facial expressions.
It would almost be worth missing Justin's Pittsburgh concert to come on over and listen to Josh read the lava lamp story. Really.
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Date: 2007-02-13 04:08 pm (UTC)Ah, Lamp. Bringing fandom together in so many ways *g*
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Date: 2007-02-13 05:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-13 05:25 pm (UTC)The photo-essay was cool, wasn't it? I'd forgotten Terri did that; I'm glad someone linked to it.
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Date: 2007-02-13 08:03 pm (UTC)That just kills me for some reason. No idea why.
I am so very glad I have never read the lava lamp story in full.
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Date: 2007-02-14 01:11 am (UTC)These are so much funnier when listed out like this!
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Date: 2007-11-09 01:48 am (UTC)I can't really ...
had the lava lamp been on? I got the feeling it had been on. And I've touched a lava lamp that had been on, and I had blisters on my hand for at least a week.
I never EVER thought there could be a double-dicking fic that wouldn't make me at least a little horny. But this has done it. Not horny at ALL.
I think line 14 got me most, but it might be its placement in the story.
that was the most appalling thing ever. *is scarred for life*
and yes, I remember, I invited this on myselfAbout the only thing I can say is I have no idea who any of these people are, so it was marginally less terrifying than it might have been. (though was Justin, Justin Timberlake? cos I know him)
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Date: 2007-11-09 01:51 am (UTC)And yup, Justin Timberlake.
Now just imagine how big Lance must be, dick-wise, if they have to use a lava lamp to 'prep' Chris to take him? O_O
*pets you and offers chocolate and a massage*
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Date: 2007-11-09 01:53 am (UTC)*cries*
for so many reasons
I see why all the mentions of alcohol *g*