mickeym

An SGA story, to be exact. The story is told around Don't Ask Don't Tell being repealed, and the giant headache that becomes John's, when he has to deal with a shit ton more than he expected to have to deal with. It also contains a nominal bit of Dr. Jennifer (? I think that's her name, though I'm damned if I can remember her last name)/Rodney... but it's mostly John dealing with the fall out (with Jack making snarky comments alongside of it), and some Jennifer!bashing. Which is my favorite part of it, btw.

Anyone? I used to have it bookmarked, and then I didn't, and I'm not sure what happened there, but I would really like to read it again.

Thanks!

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For those who might know offhand.

I'm trying to figure out...categorizing, I guess. I've been listening to a lot of "Viking Metal" lately. Specifically, the ones labeled as by "Valhalla Ragnarok". Since they're AI (I was so sad to learn that), there aren't *people* to ship together. I mean, there are the models, or whatever they're called, who "do" the singing. but there aren't any actual people. No names.

If I choose to name them what I want, and give them backstory that I create... does make them fiction...or would it be fanfiction? Since they've actually been created by someone, and they're representative of this music, would that mean they exist as "characters"?

I know AO3 is for fanfiction, and sooner or later AI stuff is bound to show up.

Thoughts? Opinions? Suggestions?

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Title: It's Just A Little Thing
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, pre-pairing
Rating: PG-13
Words: ~280
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None
A/N: I'm working on trying to sleep, and trying to remember where I read a scene of a story (I think it's mine, but can't remember) and in looking for it, came across this little snippet (from 2011, geez), and I thought I'd share it with y'all.
Summary: Jared's driving Jensen crazy.



It's just a little thing Jared does, but it drives Jensen absolutely fucking crazy, because once he sees Jared doing it…he can't look away. It's the dirtiest and sexiest thing Jensen's ever seen, and it distracts him like nothing else ever has.

Jared licks his lips. A lot. But it's not just that he licks them, it's more than that. He does this little..curl…thing, with his tongue, and it's—dirty. Obscene.

So Jensen has this fantasy in his head, that he likes to jerk off to, where Jared licks him, instead of his lips. Like, he lays Jensen out on – whatever, bed, couch, the nearest table. And Jensen's all naked, and wants to wiggle because it's kind of awkward to be stared at the way Jared stares at him. But then Jared licks his lips, tongue dipping and moving, fucking curling, and then he's licking Jensen. All over. Fucking laps at Jensen's nipples, teases the tip of his tongue into Jensen's navel, draws imaginary lines down along the cut of his hips and the creases of his legs.

He never manages to get much further than that before he comes all over himself, gasping and panting, body arching with pleasure and aching for more.

Not likely ever going to be more, because even if Jared's flirting with him, Jared flirts with the entire universe, and Jensen's not willing to risk messing with the best friendship he's ever had.

Except if Jared keeps doing that thing, that tiny little thing, that drives Jensen out of his mind with want, well. Jensen might have to just shove Jared up against the nearest wall and see how tongue curls and lip-licking translates into kisses.

~fin~


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Has anyone else heard "Scar" by Eldruna? It gives you a feeling of the early Vikings, and as I'm listening/watching, I keep thinking this would make the most awesome SPN songvid.

"I am the shield that will not crack." It's so very very Sam and Dean. Here's a link, if anyone's interested (and if you do listen, let me know what you think).

https://youtu.be/xq8UAqEChUk?si=xGLGSDl0_T6DKAcF

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Or an update. Or both! I don't know, go crazy. Have fun with it.

1. The Powerball jackpot is up to $900 million dollars. I could live very comfortably, and make life better for even more, if I won that. Of course, I'm broke enough I can't afford even one ticket, so oh well. It's a nice fantasy.

2. I had an email drop into my school mailbox telling me that I can't be approved for student loans because only one of the four courses I'm enrolled in for the fall is eligible for student aid. That's an awkward sentence, sorry. So I finally get the SAP appeal done and an appeal granted to me, and now Financial Aid is telling me this BS. So I sent an email back to this very nice lady asking which class is covered; why aren't the other ones covered, if they're for the program I'm getting my Certificates in; if those aren't, then what are ones I *can* take? I'm six, seven at *most*, courses away from getting my certificates.

3. Luna got pregnant. And this is why the boys should have all been done, but Megan and Donnie were "saving" for a trailer. So Friday, Donnie shelled out somewhere between $150 and $200 to get Luna an abortion AND get her spayed. She was three weeks along, with *six babies*. *facepalms*

4. The vet told Donnie that she was to keep Luna separate from the other cats for four to six days, while she healed. That lasted exactly one night; Donnie came out yesterday around noon and said, did I want to hold a Luna? Poor thing (insert sarcasm) didn't get hardly any sleep. She's afraid to sleep with the light off and the door closed, and says she can't sleep with even a nightlight on, and she kept the door shut Friday night.

Last night, maybe around midnight? Luna attacked Oreo. Twice. So she's in our laundry room, with a bowl of food and water, and a couple underpads down for her to use as a toilet. But she can't stay in the laundry room for a week, separated from all the cats, all the time. Donnie's going to have to just suck it up, and deal with her room maybe not being as neat as she wants it (she shuts her door when she leaves for work every morning, and we're not supposed to put any of the cats in there) for a week or so. Plus, she might have to just have her door shut and figure out something for a light. Same reason(s).

I say a week, because that's about how long it took Cinder to get over wanting to murder the other females. I'm hoping it doesn't take that long, because YIKES, if it takes longer.

5. Donnie has changed her move-out date, again. Now we're up to October 1st. *WE* are planning to move on the 22nd, though I guess we can do it as Oct 29/30th if we have to. But Jesus Christ, we started the year with, "we're going to use our tax refund money" (approx. March 1st); it changed after they went on vacation with D's aunt. They spent most of what they'd saved paying her back (which wasn't mentioned, initially) and covering the week they didn't work while they were gone. After that it was "probably May". Then it was the end of June. In between those two, Donnie and Megan broke up. After June, and with the breakup, D said "beginning of August". At that point we told her we needed her to move out because we were going to need to space to sort and pack.

But now she said the manager is doing floor repair/replacement, and that Code Enforcement has been brought in, and she'd worked out a thing with a friend/tenant at the mobile home park who was going to move out and let D take over her payment, etc., but that fell through and so now we're at October.

6. Donnie has missed her dish day two weeks in a row. Yes, on our laundry day, it's our dish day. She and Megan split their days, so Donnie does laundry on Tuesday, and Megan does the dishes, and vice versa on Friday. Except Donnie's managed to be away from here on Friday night for the past two weeks, which is *deeply* unfair to the rest of us. (Matthew and I end up picking up everyone's slack which is even more unfair to the two of us, and him in particular, because I can't reach the stupid over-the-sink dishrack, so someone has to dry for me.)

She even made this big deal yesterday about how she was going to do the dishes... but then what dishes she did do (because it wasn't all) didn't even match what she dirtied, making dinner for herself and her (straight) guy friend, Andy. Who is going to be her roommate when she moves into this fantasy mobile home trailer.

So guess who's probably going to end up doing the dishes today, even though I've had no sleep as of yet. Pills didn't work -- and not helped along by my being hot from Suli laying on me...and of course, Luna in the laundry room, awake again and crying. Again.

7. Madisyn is in jail again. Matthew and Megan found her...last weekend? I think? I don't know that they were looking for her, or found her accidentally, but yeah. She's violated her parole -- now a felony charge -- and she's been denied bond. So we called up to the detention center to see if could bring the documents up there, and did they have a notary who could do their thing since some of them need to be notarized. But no, only an attorney can bring papers up to the jail, they can't "accept papers from off the streets". So now we're trying to figure out what our best option (and hopefully least expensive option) is.

Donnie just had an alarm going off for fucking five minutes... and Luna, who had just been kind of pitifully mewing once in a while, now sounds like she's trying to bring the laundry room down. *headdesk*

And number whatever, I've lost track, the bow of my upper left lip started hurting today, and my left eye is goopier than usual. I haven't had a Shingles flare-up in years. But I've had enough stress in the past one year, that I'm surprised, a little, that it hasn't flared up before now.

Now, I think I'm going to try to go to sleep. Maybe Luna will, too, because I don't want to have to put my headphones on.

X-posted to Livejournal and Dreamwidth; read/comment where you prefer.

So I'm poking around on Pinterest, looking for "Wincest Art" (if you don't know I'm a Sam/Dean girl, well). A Dean/Castiel thing came up... and WOW. It wasn't just art, it was a video, almost a minute long, one of the hottest fucking kisses I've ever seen. EVER. And I've been in fandom a really long time, at this point.

This is it (if anyone wants to see): https://www.pinterest.com/pin/412290541033841735/

Just. WOW.

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Megan is apparently not speaking to me. I don't know if it's for a limited time, or for the rest of time, or what. No idea. To know these things, she'd have to be asking me.

According to Donnie, who said to me, "don't tell her I said anything, because she'd be SO MAD", Megan has issues with me going back years. Also, apparently, she now feels that Matthew and I took advantage of her. I feel like that's coaching from Donnie, because until about six months ago, Megan had never said, ever, that she felt like we were taking advantage. Not to me, not to Matthew, nothing.

And now she's not speaking to me at all. The girl -- woman -- who used to say "I love you" every day when she left for work. Who would joke and laugh with me, and we'd wish each other a good night at bedtime. Now she can't get out of the room fast enough. In fact tonight, Matthew told me, Donnie called her (from the kitchen to their room), and he heard her say, "Kim's in the bathroom". And she popped out briefly, then back.

And while I know I should initiate the conversation, I don't want to. I'm a punching bag for them when they get angry at me, and I'm not willing to do that anymore. Enough's enough. We expect them to leave by the end of June (and when June gets a bit closer, we're going to tell them this. At least that's the plan.).

I'm going to miss them, sometimes. Megan lived with us for a decade, which is no small amount of time. My relationship with both of them (Donnie in particular, but both of them) is very complicated and complex. I'd love to have a relationship with them after they move out, but I'm not sure that's going to be possible.

And in the meantime, Donnie's talking about the trailer they're moving in to -- both of them, still in the same bedroom, even though they're broken up -- and how two of her male friends, upon hearing they'd broken up, said they would move in, help her with rent and so on. So Donnie talks about how they'll have four contracts on the lease, with each of them paying a quarter of the expenses. And she says that unironically. Like it's perfectly okay to plan that, while still not realizing that that's what WE tried to do with them.

End of June. I'm holding on to that, so very tightly.

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Some of you got this as an email, but things are happening now that are making it even more urgent.

Our rent payment for May bounced. I need $1,146 as soon as possible. We got our "seven day letter" on the 10th. Well, I got an email copy of it. The actual letter hasn't arrived yet, go figure. I spent a good chunk of my day yesterday at the Helping Hand of Hope, applying for emergency rental assistance. They can't grant me anything until they've spoken with my property management company. The woman Matthew and I met with made the call to LREI while we were in her office. She asked on the message for them to call her back by 3:30. That she can't do anything for me, until she talks to them. She said she would call us to let us know how much they could give us, but she didn't call. I have no idea if we'll still get any help from them, because of it taking so long.

Now for the why. I don't know for sure, won't know until Matthew starts therapy and gets officially diagnosed. But I'm pretty sure he has a sex addiction. Porn, sex, all of it. It's been hovering there, in the background, for a while, slowly escalating. Well, he hit a new low. High. Something. And he ran through a pretty impressive amount of money in the first week of this month. I don't know how much, exactly, but for sure over $700. Which is a staggering amount of money, truly.

Matthew will start therapy within a week. We started the paperwork tonight (Tuesday night), and then I hit a snag with the signing box (naturally), so now we have to wait until morning to call them to figure it out. If you want to check it out, it's www.astrabh.com. I'm going to start therapy with them as well. I need to sit in on some of Matthew's sessions, probably, but I need it for my own stuff. I could stay with Rhonda, but she only sees patients twice a week. Plus, Rhonda is safe and comfortable. If I'm ever going to be able to tell my son NO, or learn how to set boundaries, and other healthy behaviors, I need someone who isn't safe or comfortable.

Anyway. What I owe breaks down to this:

Rent: $1,010
Bounce Fee: $35
Late Fee: $101

If there's any chance anyone can help me out, I would be beyond grateful. I applied for a loan, but I don't know that I'll get approved (I was turned down for a "pre-approved" thing, and am waiting on a phone call from a loan specialist). I don't know if my Mom or sister can help us this time. (And the update on that is no, they won't.) I'm going to try the Salvation Army, as well, but I'm not holding out a lot of hope here. If you can't, I understand that. Keep us in your thoughts, or send positive energy. It's all appreciated.

If you can help, send it to my Paypal (paypal.me/kimandmattg6794). I've taken the card away from Matthew -- all of the cards -- so you don't need to worry about that.

I know I've asked for help a lot. I'm really hoping that we can get on our feet and I won't need to ask for anything from anyone, and in fact could maybe help others, at some point. But right now, I pretty desperately need help. Not just for the rent, though that's the critical issue, but for June as well. Because, in trying to to cover other things, I've overdrawn my checking account by $1300. That's all of the money I get for the month. Once we pay rent for June, I'll have $217 to get me through the month.

Please help, if you can. Feel free to share this post, or link to it. Anything you think might help.

Thank you,

Kim

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It hurts to feel this angry and this bitter, so much of the time.

Two days ago, or maybe three or four, I don't know for sure. They all run together, after a while. Anyway. I was having trouble pushing away the trunk I use as a makeshift stool (my chair is a recliner, but the recliner broke and Madisyn killed my warranty by taking a hammer to it). Sometimes when it's humid and the windows are open, it becomes harder to push the truck away from me.

So I asked Matthew if he could help me with the stool. Pull it out so I could stand up and do whatever it was I was going to do. Well, he said, "you can do it yourself. You just have to try harder." I was already in a pissy mood, and I snapped. I don't remember what I said, but it conveyed my pissy mood. Something to the effect of how could he just sit there and watch me struggle and NOT offer help. I have to pull my leg all the way up to my body in order to get enough leverage to push it away from me -- and if it's humid, it's extremely difficult.

And Donnie, in my kitchen making a mess, as always, turns toward me and Matthew and says, "He didn't answer you {however whatever}, and Matthew, you're her son, not her caretaker. You don't have to do anything for her.

My very first internal reaction to that was WTELF??!

I then told her as nicely as I could manage that I wasn't interested in her opinion, and she could keep it to herself. I told Matthew much the same. I finally was able to get up, and went into the bathroom (my "room") and stayed there for a little while, just shaking with anger.

Later, when talking with Matthew about it (without Donnie, tyvm), I asked him what, exactly, he thought I was asking for him to do, to "be my caregiver". I said, you don't wipe my ass for me; you don't do any of my hygiene care; you don't bathe me or feed me or do my meds. Occasionally, I need help getting the stool out to get up, and I do ask him to push the stool in for me, because I can't always get it pulled all the way in. He puts my laundry into the washer, and then into the dryer. I fold it, and put it away. I cook for us. I wash our dishes -- he usually dries and puts away. What, exactly, is he giving me that falls into any category other than "one human helping another one out". Donnie, I should mention, will run Megan ragged fetching this or that or the other, especially while cooking. Megan puts Donnie's shoes and socks on her. Fetches clothing. Or Donnie's purse. She gets water with ice, constantly. I mean, if we're going tit-for-tat, maybe Donnie should look at her own domestic relationship -- and keep her nose out of mine.

They're out of town right now. On vacation (though they can't afford to pay any of the bills here). They're down in Gatlinburg TN, and Super!Suzy has paid for them to be there. They're not going to have any income for the week they're gone, and they've run through a good chunk of what got set aside for moving. Matthew and I have decided that we're going to tell them they have until May 1st to move, or they'll have to start paying something. And it's nothing to do with whether or not we have the money to pay all the bills. We almost do. As long as nothing happens. But it has to do with, god, living in someone's house for 16 months, and having paid about $1000. Total. In 16 months. That's roughly $62.50/mo.

Augh. I'm sorry. That was major word!vomit, and I just came over here to vent a little bit about one thing.

I think I'm going to watch some ER, and then go to bed.

X-posted to Livejournal and Dreamwidth. Read/comment where you choose.

Hey, y'all. I'm posting this to the platforms I use: Facebook, LiveJournal, and Dreamwidth, so my apologies if you see it more than once.

Matthew and I need some help getting caught up before it gets completely out of control. We need about $600 to get my checking account out of the negative, and to cover new meds for Matthew, from his new doctor.

I have Paypal: paypal.me/kimandmattg6794. If CashApp works better, Matthew has one; just let me know by DM or email, and I'll get the handle or whatever they call it.

If anyone can help us out, I would be so grateful. I thought we had it better under control, but then we had a couple unexpected expenses.

Thank you from both me, and Matthew.

X-posted to Dreamwidth and LiveJournal; read/comment wherever you prefer.