how not to attract readers (or, still wheezing, still grumpy)

[mickeym]

So, I've been in fandom a while, right? Fourteen years and counting. (And all of it online. Jesus.) I know I'm kind of set in my ways; I'm very reluctant and slow to try new fandoms, or pairings, much less new authors. That's one of the reasons I volunteered to do the RPS post for crack_impala, to occasionally force me out of my comfort zone and make me try new authors. (Though, I have to ask: doesn't anyone post finished stories anymore? I swear 90% of all stories these days seem to be part x/??. But I digress.)

Where was I? Oh, yeah. Reluctant to try new authors. I'm doing better about it, most of the time. But I can guarantee a sure-fire way to ensure I don't ever read your story:

Rating: NC17
Pairing: S/D, D/OFC
Warnings: OOC, AU, PWP
Disclaimer: Don't own, am not making any money so pls don't sue!
A/N: I played fast and loose with our boys. It’s not really meant to follow a particular story line, so you will find that practically this whole thing is OOC. And as just joined the Wincest ranks, I took what I liked and ran with it. My first SPN ficlet so pls be gentle.

Don't be lazy. The names are not that long. Spelling out "Sam/Dean" is a whole extra five characters' worth of typing.

Don't tell me it's "OOC". If you're writing something you consider to be "out of character", you're not writing Sam and Dean (or whatever fandom characters are involved)... so why would I want to read it?

If you can't manage decent grammar (not to mention spelling) in the header, why should I assume you've managed it in the body of your story?

This story could well be an incredibly awesome story, but it's not going to get read (by me certainly; probably by a bunch of others as well, because I know I'm not the only one this annoys). Why? Because you, as the author, have given me no reason to want to read it, and a lot of reasons to NOT want to read it. I know this is supposed to be fun and a hobby and all the rest, but for heaven's sake, have a little pride in what you're posting. Make an effort to make people want to read what you've written. Otherwise, why bother posting it publicly at all?

This post brought to you courtesy of too much benedryl, not nearly enough breath or sleep, and a terminal case of the crankies. Also, someday? I promise to post something fun and happy and cheerful again. I swear. I hate being all *grump grump grump*.

Comments

[ninhursag.livejournal.com]

I've always had the vague idea that stories like that are just intended as some kind of social interaction gambit. Maybe the writer doesn't care much about writing as much as 'doing fandom' and thinks that the only way to participate in fandom is to produce something? The chatty style of the headers is more like they're trying to have a conversation with you, the potential audience, rather than get you to read their story, if that makes any sense.

That said, I wouldn't read a story with a header like that either, unless it had one of my rarely found but bullet proof kinks.

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Huh. That's an...interesting take on it. And I can see it, now you've pointed it out to me (and given the appalling amount of text-speak and net-speak out there, it makes even more sense).

But I'm still not sure I could/would read it, even if it had one of my bullet proof kinks in it. *g*

[ninhursag.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you may have noticed I'm kind of a glutton for punishment when it comes to bullet proof kinks *g*

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

I HAVE noticed that, yes *g*

It's okay; I know a bunch of people who do that ;)

[ou-peachus.livejournal.com]

I find great delight in your icon, btw.

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

I think it fits into my life very nicely *g*

[kaiz.livejournal.com]

I've always had the vague idea that stories like that are just intended as some kind of social interaction gambit.

Ditto. Sort of like someone at a cocktail party who wants to move from the fringes of a conversation to fully participating in it.

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

I find that a very interesting analogy, and it's kind of making me want to do some sort of polling to find out how many people think of it like that.

[kaiz.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'm projecting a bit since that's kind of how I felt when I first started writing fanfic. I'd lurked for a long time and saw these wonderful writers whom I admired participating in this great 'conversation' with other writers and readers and I wanted to be a part of that beyond writing LOCs. It's one reason why I have mostly written challenge-fic and gift-fic, over the years and why that kind of fic generally feels the most satisfying for me to write.

[ninhursag.livejournal.com]

I could be projecting too, because that's part of why I write fanfic. I mean, I do have a head full of stories and enjoy writing for its own sake over and above interaction, but I'm not sure I'd feel the need to write fanfic specifically without the social component. I have no trouble imagining someone who doesn't have an interest in the writing component at all and seeing it in a lot of stories/headers that make no sense otherwise.

The thing is, as a social gambit it works! A fairly large percentage of my flist are people that decided to interact with me because at one point they liked something I wrote.

[kaiz.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I'd feel the need to write fanfic specifically without the social component

Ditto. In fact, for me, I'm kind of all about the audience component (even if it's just an audience of 1 other person), which kind of dampens my enthusiasm for tackling my original fic ideas. *g*

The thing is, as a social gambit it works! A fairly large percentage of my flist are people that decided to interact with me because at one point they liked something I wrote.

Exactly! :-)

At this point I can't remember if I even got the first fic I ever wrote betaed before I posted it to a list. I might not have, like the author mickeym mentioned above, although I suspect that I did spell-check it first. *eg* I know that I've definitely used beta requests to get into a new fandom from time to time (e.g. "Hey flist/LJ comm, I'm dipping my toe in Fandom X, anyone willing to beta a story for me?") and met folks I didn't know as a result. So yeah, it pretty much works. There is nearly always *someone* out there who is intrigued enough to click and maybe leave a comment, thereby widening the conversation.