ain't no cure for the summertime blues

[mickeym]

Yesterday sucked a lot, and I'm really glad it's now yesterday. But getting some sleep and some time away from LJ and fandom has given me a chance to think about things; about things I said/did/reacted to, and about things others said or did.

I can see, in retrospect, that I did do some speaking/reacting-before-thinking, and I hate that. I hate that about ME, and it's something I'm probably going to be working on until the day I die. I'm not quite as bad as Chicken Little, but I have my moments. I think any of you who've known me for any real length of time probably know that. *wry smile*

I feel like one of the catalysts for things devolving the way they did yesterday, both for me personally, and for fandom in general, was the whole concept of "fandom should support its own". It seems like a simple phrase, but I think it's kind of tricky--because we look at the words and it seems as though whoever said them is saying "(You) should support (whatever person/action) without thought, regardless of what your opinion is." But support doesn't have to be that, or mean that. Support can mean simply shoring someone up. The folks involved directly in whatever legal action is happening...are having a really rough time of it. And if I were going through something like that, I'd like to know that my friends weren't going to hate me or turn their back on me, even if those friends disagree with my position.

I saw other people saying things like "have your own opinion, but be NICE about it", and I think that's what it boils down to. What a generic sense of 'support' boils down to. What I was trying (and failed badly) to say yesterday.

Do I think Jensen, or his "people", have a right to take action perceived to be in Jensen's best interest? Absolutely. Do I think that action (as seen in whispers and bits yesterday) seemed a bit OTT or harsh, for first contact? Yeah, I do, but I'm not Jensen or his people; maybe they thought that action was what was needed. I don't know. None of us will probably ever know.

I spent a good chunk of yesterday afternoon and evening watching more and more posts pop up about all of this. Some were really well-thought out, some were more reactionary, some were a mixture of both. The thing about so many of the posts that I saw though, that upset me so much, wasn't people having opinions or thoughts or suppositions. It was the posts where folks said things like supporting people equaled fannish entitlement. That really hurt, because I've never felt (or acted, I hope) like I was entitled to anything, fannishly speaking. Were those posts directed at me? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. Did they hurt, regardless? Yeah, they did.

It's my opinion that no one should ever apologize for having their own opinion/thoughts/feelings. But it's probably always a good idea to remember that words can and do hurt -- particularly in a written medium where it's very difficult to gauge tone, see facial expressions, etc.

If you read through this, thank you. Hopefully I didn't ramble or lose sight of what I was trying to express.

I've stayed home from work today, too. Called in and took a sick day. I don't feel well, in general, though I suspect a lot of it is just residual emotions pinging around. Some of it's physical, too, like the fact that my ankles/lower legs are still so swollen they hurt. I'm going to spend the day with my feet propped up, and watch television, I think. Or maybe read some more big bangs. Or, possibly get caught up on answering comments. How's that for an ambitious plan?

Thank you to everyone who offered hugs and whatnot yesterday. You all are an amazing group of people, and I'm blessed to have you in my life.

Comments

[thehighwaywoman.livejournal.com]

*big hugs* As I am equally blessed to have you in my life. Grace be with you today, hon (pun not intended *g*).

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Thank you :) And y'know, YOU went a long way yesterday, in making the day bearable. So, thank you for that.

*hugs you tight*

[strippedpink.livejournal.com]

>>It was the posts where folks said things like supporting people equaled fannish entitlement. That really hurt, because I've never felt (or acted, I hope) like I was entitled to anything, fannishly speaking. Were those posts directed at me? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. Did they hurt, regardless? Yeah, they did.

YES. That really bummed me out, too!

And I agree with this possst. SO MUCH.

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Thanks, honey. It was really frustrating yesterday, because I knew what I was trying to say...I just couldn't get it out right. And then it seemed like everywhere I looked there was just. People turning on people. Bleh.

Today, aside from relaxing and kicking back, I'm going to write. Maybe some porn. There's always room for porn, right? Kinda like jello? :)

[fpvs.livejournal.com]

I hope you're feeling much better tomorrow. Or this evening, after a day of rest.

[rivers-bend.livejournal.com]

I feel like I missed most of what happened yesterday. I mean, obviously I did, but I'm sorry it made you feel so bad. *gives belated hugs*

[brighton-girl.livejournal.com]

I have absolutely no idea what went down.

But I certainly don't like that you were made to feel bad, and I hope you are doing better today. *hugs*

[cormallen.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey, I wanna *hug* you a lot right now.

[digital-diva.livejournal.com]

I've seen things like this pop up everywhere and I have no idea what went down and it annoys me something fierce!

But I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. That should never happen.

*hugs*

[rainbow.livejournal.com]

*more hugs and lovings*

[geneli4.livejournal.com]

i'm glad you're feeling better about this today, and i hope a day of rest helps your body feel better, too. *so many hugs*

[benitle.livejournal.com]

Baby, try not to be too hard on yourself about this. It's not worth it. Don't beat yourself up over it. I know this is easier said than done, but just accept it for what it was - a clumsily worded post in the heat of the moment when everybody was emotional about this - and then let's move on. All of us.

[gretazreta.livejournal.com]

I hope you have a lovely day today, take some time out and read some cool stuff and eat good foods!

[splifford.livejournal.com]

K-
I'm sorry if my post the other day hurt you. That was most certainly not intended, and you were not the one it was aimed at. I admit I was a little harsh with my language, but that was my honest, immediate reaction to the situation and what I saw on the site in question. As an actor myself, I found it all extremely offensive and in poor taste. And I thought that I owed it to you to explain why. [Note: This has absolutely nothing to do with the legal aspects of what went on...that's a whole other facet.]

I am all for praising your favorite actors in a public forum. Talk about how fantastic they are. Talk about how good they are and how much you enjoy their work. But leave it at that (and I am not even including all of the horrific behavior by some fans at cons and such). What I saw attained the level of mockery, in my opinion.

Being an actor is hard. Being a working actor - especially in Hollywood, where there are half a dozen actors within spitting distance at any given moment - is practically impossible. For every gig you book, there are ten, twenty, thirty that you don't get for one reason or another. But if you love it, you put up with the harsh criticism (and those people can be mean) and the rejection. And you learn and hone your craft, and get better and keep going, and one day you might get lucky. Now, Jensen got lucky early. He was a model, and very pretty, and got a soap job. He couldn't act his way out of a paper bag when he first started, but he paid attention, and he learned from the people he was working with. After he left, he took classes like any other good, dedicated actor and he has become amazing. But he still had to go through the process and I'm sure he's been rejected for things many times. But like I said, that's all part of being an actor.

So, to have your life and passion and craft be trivialized by people claiming to be your fans is seriously insulting. And hey, I also thinks he works goddamn hard as it is for all of us fans, and to imply that he isn't for one reason or another degrades everything he has already given us, and everything he has ever done. Also, do we really want him to become "that guy" who everyone wants and has to turn down offers because he doesn't have enough time?

So, that's my two bits worth (it's longer than a couple of pennies)...now, that fan might have meant it all "lovingly" or whatever, but we all have to remember that we are *not* Jensen's friends. We are fans. And taking those kinds of liberties with someone (or their career) that you are not personally close to, is not cute or silly or all in good fun. Even if Jensen himself was the one to pull that site, I wouldn't blame him one bit.

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Hey, you :)

To be honest, after a certain point I stopped noticing who had posted (or not) on the whole thing -- and I don't know if I saw/read your post or not; I can assure you what you said didn't hurt my feelings. I, myself, found the satirical video (even the idea of it) very offensive. I can't imagine why anyone would like it -- though I know there are people who do (clearly). I don't have anything to do with the acting field in any capacity, but I can imagine it can be a lot of work, hard work, with often little appreciation. I know if someone trivialized anything I did, even if claiming to care for/about me, etc., it would hurt. So I do not by any means begrudge him or his people responding.

My biggest...complaint? Issue? Was the way people seemed to be acting toward other fans. A lot of negativity, a lot of animosity. Even if it was unintended, seeing comments like "if you don't agree, you can shove it", or whatever...that seemed unnecessary (and unnecessarily hurtful), to me.

Anyway, thanks, just for dropping in and commenting. Sharing your thoughts :) They're always welcome, and you're awesome. *hugs*