kickin' it old-skool

[mickeym]

Tonight (last night? whatever) I started out watching a clip from the original Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer (I hate Verizon for using 'The Island of Misfit Toys' for their jingle, grr.) and ended up dragging out my copy of N'Sync: 'N The Mix (there was a logical progression in there, honest. I'm just not going to draw it out here).

I just finished reading through my (unfinished) Snapshots of a Great American Romance, and wondering if I have it in me to finish it. There are really only two -- three, if I count the Chris time travel story -- popslash stories I want to finish. GAR, and my Vietnam a/u. (Do I even need to say they're all TrickC? Thought not.) I might have to give it a shot, in any case. Pretty boys who make pretty music. What's not to love?

Today is Matthew's 15th birthday. The first birthday I "celebrated" for him on LJ was in 2002, when he was turning eight. *shakes head* He's not really a boy any more; physically he's more of a grown man, save some filling out. Without actually dragging out the tape measure, and based on the fact that he was able to look Mickey in the eye last night when she came down, I figure he's pretty much hit six feet tall. My baby is as tall as his father. As tall as his Uncle Joe. From here on out, he'll be the tallest one in our family, because no one is taller than six feet. (Well, okay. Three of my cousins, and probably assorted of their kids, but we see them maybe once a decade, so, for all intents and purposes.)

So, yeah. Fifteen. By this time, 15 yrs ago, Matthew was already four and a half hours old, and we were (slowly) getting to know each other. Sometimes I miss the baby so much I ache with it, and I hate that chronic depression robbed me of several years of enjoying him -- the years between when he was two and four are blurs and random scraps of memory in ways none of the rest of his years are, and those were the 20 odd months, give or take, where I spent every morning forcing myself up out of bed and out into the world by reminding myself if I took my own life, I'd be hurting him in unimaginable ways.

A lot of you have known me for a good portion of my time on LJ; there are some of you who've known me ten years or more, and a few who've known me pretty much since I got started in fandom, some thirteen years ago. YOU have watched my child grow up with me, and it makes me feel warm in a really odd, funny way. Not just friends, or acquaintances, but more like family. You've all helped me through the good times, and the bad times, and the times when I wasn't sure there could BE any more good, and through that, you've helped my son. Helped me help my son. So, thank you.

Happy birthday, Matthew Douglas. I will always, always love you.

Comments

[starweather.livejournal.com]

I love how much you love your son. I know it sounds weird, but - we need more of that kind of love in the world. And it makes me so happy whenever you talk about him; whether you're frustrated at him, or laughing with him, or telling us things he says - it's clear how much you adore him.

Tell him Happy Birthday for me =)

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

I love him a ridiculous amount, even when I want to sell him to the Gypsies *g* (and there were a couple instances of that, even this evening, ARGH. Teenagers, man).

I wish more people had that kind of love, too. I mean, maybe they do, we just don't get to see it. So often it's the BAD that you hear about, and not the good. I don't know when that trend started, and I agree with you, we need to see/hear more of the good.

I'm glad you like hearing about him. Since he's pretty much the most important thing in my life, I like to share him :)

I will tell him happy birthday from you! Thanks, honey :)

[copracat]

Happy Birthday, Matthew.

[jake-harold.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday, Matthew, and hail Mikey. Kudos for everything (so much easier than counting every single thing you've done). And thanks for sharing your kid's growing with us. It's a great ride!

[flambeau.livejournal.com]

Hugs to you, and birthday hugs to your amazingly grown-up child!

[pensnest]

Children - our anchors into the future. Happy Birthday, Matthew!

[rivers-bend.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday to Matthew, and hugs to you, dear one. ♥

[maerhysetc.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday, Matthew!

[cormallen.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday to Matthew!
(and some *hugs* for you, too :) )

[beledibabe.livejournal.com]

Birthday wishes to Matthew!!

[taselby.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday, Matthew!

And great big {{{{{hugs}}}}} for both of you.

[zillahseye.livejournal.com]

N'awwww. *sniffle* AWWW.

[tabularassa.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday to Matthew, darling:) ♥

[hunters-retreat.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday Matthew! and *snuggles* for Mama because it's not easy to watch them grow up :P

[msktrnanny.livejournal.com]

Oh God. That means my oldest will be 15 in January!

Deep breaths, deep breaths.

Where in the world did the time go???

Happiest of birthdays to Matthew and bg congratulations to his mom who has done so much. :snugs:

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Birthday hugs to your handsome boy -- I'm so glad we were able to have dinner with you guys at last year's wincon, it was a privilege to get to know him a little. It's weird how quickly they go from tiny little things curled up on your shoulder to strapping young men, isn't it? *sighs* A privilege to share it with you :)

[turps33.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday, plus a day, to Matthew!

[azephirin.livejournal.com]

Happy belated birthday to Matthew! And hugs to you too.

[wovenindelibly.livejournal.com]

I have SO MANY MEMORIES of you posting things about Matthew (and Avery, haha) - funny things, frustrating things, adorable things, sad things - and I feel so honored to have been able to "watch" Matthew grow as you write about him. Happy birthday to your kiddo! You have both made it a long way and should feel so proud of yourselves. ♥

[rainbow.livejournal.com]

happiest of belated birthday wishes to matthew. *15*!!!