mickeym: (misc_calvin is horrified)
[personal profile] mickeym
'This' being the chance to laugh at me *g* I know [livejournal.com profile] raynedanser is probably still snorting and giggling.



I bought Matthew a...well, it's a sex toy. On the order of the Fleshlight, though not as expensive (holy shit, those things are like, $70!) I heard him and Justin talking about it, and Justin saying he used to have one and it was better than just jerking off--and honestly? If this helps calm him down a little, it'll be money well-spent. I actually feel sorry for teenagers, all those hormones wanting out, and Matthew wants a girlfriend SO BAD, but he comes on too strong pretty much all the time...and honestly, he doesn't need to be sexually active at 16. So. It arrived today, and so tonight was another chapter in the ongoing saga of sex-and-my-kid; he couldn't read the stuff on the box because they used a font that was almost like script, and he can't read that, so I got to read it to him. Then had to look at it because he says, "I think something's wrong, I'm not sure I can even fit one finger in it" (HEADDESK TO INFINITY, tyvm). Then he says, "okay, I'm going to be quiet now for a few minutes." My last words were SHUT THE DAMN DOOR, and then I put my headphones on. He finally comes out, like, half an hour later, and I'm all, "I do not want any information about what you just did--" And the smartass says to me, "how do I clean it inside?"

ACK. *Boundaries*, Matthew!

Conversations earlier in the night with him and Justin included teenage pregnancy and the prevention of such, breastfeeding, how long new mothers should wait after childbirth to have sex again, and bestiality. I have no idea how we got on that last one, except it had something to do with dog that follows Justin's character around in the video game "Fable".

I could not MAKE THIS SHIT UP IF I WANTED TO.

Also, teen-related drama so far this week: Justin's latest gf is 19 (he won't be 17 until May) who is due to give birth (not his baby, he's only been seeing her for a week or two) in two weeks' time. He hasn't told his parents that she's pregnant, nor that he's told HER he wants to "be there for her, and for the baby, be a father to the baby". Then he asked if he could give her my number for when she goes into labor, if his folks haven't given him his phone back yet.

Eric had a major row with his parents because he snuck out to go visit his girlfriend ("I told my grandma, but I don't know if she heard me." "Maybe you should have, I don't know, told your mom or your dad??")...except as it turned out, it wasn't that, or that alone, that they're upset about. The phone he got for his birthday a couple of months ago, they're paying for it, and money's tight and they want to take it away. So Eric's response to that was, "I'll drop out of school and get a job so I can pay for it. And I'll probably have to start paying rent anyway." Mind you, Eric is *four months* from graduation. Why the hell he thinks this makes any sort of sense is beyond me. So his dad came over to pick him up -- which surprised me, because he hadn't been at our house, but it seems he told his dad that's where he was, intending to walk quickly (quicker?) from his gf's house to our house. His dad wasn't happy. I wasn't happy. Eric...I don't know. The kid doesn't *talk*. Having a conversation with him is nearly impossible; everything is 'yes' 'no' I don't know'. Justin says it's always been that way in his house. None of them talk to each other.

Bottom line, Eric's dad won't let him drop out (thank god). I don't know how the phone issue will be resolved.

Meanwhile, Matthew's freaking out because it's nearly Valentine's Day and he misses Mallory, and he'll KILL YOU WITH HIS BRAIN if you mention Valentine's Day around him. I told him to suck it up and get over it. He's had (supposedly) four "girlfriends" since Mallory was taken out of school -- he has one right now, her name is Misty, though as near as I can tell for Matthew being girlfriend/boyfriend is mainly about texting, note-passing, and holding hands during lunch. In any case, I told him it's disrespectful to the current gf to be whining and moaning about valentine's day in relation to the past gf.

OMG TEENAGED BOYS. And it's only Wednesday night.

Date: 2011-02-03 04:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raynedanser.livejournal.com
I'm just glad I'm done eating now. Because yep. Still dying. :D

Date: 2011-02-03 05:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mickeym.livejournal.com
Go ahead, laugh at my pain. *g* Just remember what goes around, comes around. *eg* Though really, as embarrassing and awkward as Matthew manages to make my life at times, I cannot imagine him NOT talking to me. I don't know how people who don't talk to their kids DO it. I want to know! Obvs not every detail, but...yeah. I'm glad he and I talk. (His observation last fall after coming home from his dad's: Dad isn't as easy to talk to as you are. YOU DON'T SAY. *g*)

Date: 2011-02-03 05:03 am (UTC)
ext_7625: (parallax)
From: [identity profile] kaiz.livejournal.com
Okay, I think I missed a BIG step. Aren't Matthew and Justin still dating (but pretending to their friends that they're not because of the Facebook fiasco)?

Date: 2011-02-03 05:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mickeym.livejournal.com
Hah, no. Apparently that lasted about two minutes, and then they decided they didn't really want to go there -- though it's hard to tell with them, because they're not in the same room for more than two seconds before they're hanging all over each other, making inappropriate jokes/comments, smacking each other's butt or making kissy-faces at the other.

I can't decide if they're both in denial, or just really comfortable with each other, or trying to see if they can shock me... or some combination of those.

My life is never, ever, EVER dull, that's for sure!

Date: 2011-02-03 05:17 am (UTC)
ext_7625: (Default)
From: [identity profile] kaiz.livejournal.com
*facepalms*

Well then! :-) And yes, your life is most definitely *not* dull. *g*

Date: 2011-02-03 05:08 am (UTC)
ext_35214: (alec_babyface)
From: [identity profile] munibunny.livejournal.com
All I can say is... I'm glad I have girls!

Date: 2011-02-03 05:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mickeym.livejournal.com
I think it's all in what you get used to, honestly. I wouldn't have a clue what to do with a girl :) Boys, though, I can talk to 'em/with 'em with no problem. (Which I guess is very fortunate, actually. *g*)

Date: 2011-02-03 05:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mistyzeo.livejournal.com
LOL TEEN BOYS.

i dated one of those once. it was very dramatic all the time.

Date: 2011-02-03 05:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mickeym.livejournal.com
Yes. My god, the drama -- soap operas have no clue, in comparison to a high school student's life. O_O And cellphones and computers only make it worse. *g*

Date: 2011-02-03 08:23 am (UTC)
ext_17092: heart shaped flames (Default)
From: [identity profile] gestaltrose.livejournal.com
*hugs you*

Date: 2011-02-03 09:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fpvs.livejournal.com
I love your dramatic tales of teenaged life. :)

Date: 2011-02-03 12:52 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (Gerard smile)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Okay, so I was laughing at the sex toy stuff anyway, and then you killed me by casually dropping in bestiality *g*

Date: 2011-02-03 04:38 pm (UTC)
nopseud: (Default)
From: [personal profile] nopseud
And the smartass says to me, "how do I clean it inside?"

Seriously, you two are the Lynn and Justin of fandom :-)

Date: 2011-02-03 07:11 pm (UTC)
ext_1038: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rainbow.livejournal.com
i think i hurt something gigglesnorting, and it's ALL YOUR FAULT.

thank goodness for parents like you who, no matter how uncomfortable it might make them at times, are there for their kids.

clean it inside, heeeeee!!!! better to ask than have grossness, right?

ah, adolescence. i'm so very glad that when iwent thru it the body didn't, cause it was hard enough without the hormonal stuff!

Date: 2011-02-04 03:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neros-violin.livejournal.com
Hahahaha! You're the best Mom - and I kind of love how he was a smartass about it. Helps avoid awkward, lol.

Date: 2011-02-04 04:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clumsygyrl.livejournal.com
again in the saga of "why fi should never have children and kim is braver than her". haha. ;)

Date: 2011-02-04 04:19 am (UTC)
fufaraw: mist drift upslope (Default)
From: [personal profile] fufaraw
I...don't even.

It's never dull? That's a positive, isn't it?

You're such a good mamma. Few would have the patience.

Date: 2011-02-04 05:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quantum-speck.livejournal.com
LOL that made me laugh so hard... well mostly the first part, obviously.

Date: 2011-02-06 02:50 am (UTC)
ext_38832: (Default)
From: [identity profile] aquamia.livejournal.com
You mentioned that Matthew is on LJ now. This post is unlocked.

Date: 2011-02-06 02:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mickeym.livejournal.com
Yup. He knows I posted about it. I told him after I posted -- and he knows this is where I vent about everything to do with life anyway. I will filter him out of any posts that I make about Doug (not that there are many these days) -- but I'm not too worried about him reading anything already posted. He won't read back, and even if he does, he's not going to be able to *read* (understand) most of it. Unfortunately.

Unrelatedly, hi you :) Having a good snowy time? *snugs*

Date: 2011-02-07 08:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azephirin.livejournal.com
AHAHAHAHAHAHA OH NO. This is making me reconsider my desire to have kids, because I don't know if I could handle the psychological trauma! :P

Profile

mickeym: (Default)
mickeym

June 2025

S M T W T F S
1 234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 15th, 2025 11:56 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios