how to get your blood boiling in one easy step

[mickeym]

By way of cereta:

Robert P. George's latest and "greatest" argument against same-sex marriage:

George and his co-authors continue, however, to observe that not all sexual activity counts as a basis for marriage—what is required is sexual activity capable of producing a child. The article infers this requirement from the physical makeup of men and women. Because same-sex couples cannot create this child-producing combination by themselves, their relationship is a recreational activity more like tennis than like marriage.

But mark the sequel—if a prerequisite of marriage is procreative capacity, then are the marriages of infertile opposite-sex couples not called into question? George and his co-authors are quick to reassure with another sports analogy: "A baseball team has its characteristic structure largely because of its orientation to winning games; it involves developing and sharing one's athletic skills in the way best suited for honorably winning. … But such development and sharing are possible and inherently valuable for teammates even when they lose their games." In other words, infertile couples are still playing ball, even if they never win a game. They are the Phillies, except that they have no hope of ever improving.

I suspect it will be cold comfort to many infertile opposite-sex couples to hear that while their marriage is still "real," it is a "losing" marriage as opposed to a "winning" one. Ideally, most of them view their marriages as something more than honorable defeats and would despise the contention that they had not fulfilled the central purpose the institution. Moreover, the article says nothing of straight people who choose not to procreate. It is unclear why they would have "true marriages," as they are not even trying to win.

I'm stealing cereta's summary because it's just that perfect:

Dear Mr. George:

On behalf of couples who have struggled with infertility, adoptees, and rational human beings everywhere: fuck you, fuck you, and did I mention, fuck you.

No love,
Me

PS I think there are some childfree couples over here who'd like a word with you.

I guess I should go tell my mom and stepdad that their marriage isn't a true marriage, yeah? *shakes head*

Comments

[raynedanser.livejournal.com]

Apparently my mom and step dad, too. They'll be so glad to know they've been together for nearly 30 years for nothing.

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Right? And apparently everyone who ever has m/f sex without the intention of getting pregnant.

Huh. I guess that means the Duggars are the only 'true' marriage?

[sanj.livejournal.com]

... I cannot even. I mean, he's using English words, but I cannot actually make any sense of it.

It might be because I'm all the way over here on the planet with the rational people.

[raynedanser.livejournal.com]

The Duggars scare the fuck out of me, but yeah. Apparently.

[raynedanser.livejournal.com]

Can I come there?

[benitle.livejournal.com]

Too bad, I really would've wanted to hear what this means for my team, the people who are not even playing.

[epeeblade]

And I'm sitting here going "You did NOT just bring the Phillies into an argument about same-sex marriage..."

Also, so once you're past child bearing age you should divorce because you can no longer play the game? WTF? His logic is not Logic at all.

[kaiz.livejournal.com]

This category of argument against same sex marriage has to be one of the more boneheaded and logic-free ones out there.

Not to mention, continuing the metaphor, if marriage/procreation is some kind of competition, then what do couples get if they win, a set of steak knives?

How do they decide who wins? The couples with all the kids (e.g. the quiverful people)? Are the folks with 'only' one kid not even in the running, because hey, only one kid, you slackers!

What about the same sex couples who have kids by previous 'acceptable' m/f relationships? Do those kids cease to count when computing 'points' because one of their parents is now in a same sex partnership? Can couples from outside the US compete or is this a US-only competition?

Inquiring minds want to know! I love a good sporting event, I wanna know where to place my bets!

/sarcasm

[cereta.livejournal.com]

I have only one kid, who was not conceived through sex. WE CHEATED! Do you suppose we're disqualified? Can I call myself Shoeless Mom?

[jeeronie.livejournal.com]

When reading crap like this I actively chose to LMAO, it is better than any other reaction I may have to it which include - but are not limited to - punching this George creature in the face.

That said, someone who compares something as complex as human relations to a baseball team doesn't actually deserve the pain in my knuckles.

I'm glad you called attention to this though, I sometimes forget the level of idiocy in the world and how one should never stop fighting it.

[azephirin.livejournal.com]

OK, so the Duggars (a million kids) are, what, the Chicago Bulls, while my grandparents (5 kids) are maybe the SF Giants but without the long hair and pot smoking, and my friends who adopted are...IDK, tai chi practitioners? Yoga devotees? Meanwhile my various friends who have had children outside of marriage must all be Pete Rose, because they OMG CHEATED.

I, meanwhile, am a loser who would rather read a book than have anything to do with sports. :P

The anti-same-sex-marriage arguments get more and more ridiculous every day. They must know they're scraping the barrel by this time.

[zillahseye.livejournal.com]

It's good to know that my parents' 40 year marriage became "experience in losing" when my mom hit menopause.

The sad thing is, with the level of scientific ignorance most of these dudes have related to Creationism and global warming, gay people would probably do best using Milk's argument: We can't have babies, but that sure doesn't stop us from trying!

[cereta.livejournal.com]

Okay, possibly you have to know me and know that, among other things, I am a lifelong Reds fan who actually could never STAND Pete Rose to know why I am laughing so hard right now, but I really am. Cheaters unite!

[kaiz.livejournal.com]

Not disqualified because you fulfilled your 'duty' of having at least one, I mean you actually signed up to play the game! (Unlike me + spouse who nixed the baseball game entirely to watch track and field at the sports bar across the street.) You guys should get at least 3/4 of a point, right? It's all so confusing! :-)

[zortified.livejournal.com]

I would think that straight married couples with children would find this offensive as well, the claim that the only thing that validates the relationship between the two adults is the presence of children and that everything they feel and do for one another doesn't matter at all.

But I'm not surprised that this man's claims can conceivably offend *everybody.* ;-)

[shinycuba.livejournal.com]

I'll just try to shrugg this off and be very happy for all the queer couples that are not trapped in lifelong, gruelling marriages for the sake of the children, doing the right thing or for being unable to divorce for any other reason.

Marriage is not the holy grail, Mr. George, and I'm pretty sure there are very few non-hetero (and even hetero) couples who would want to fit into your narrowminded, pretentious and xenophobic definition of marriage. I sure as hell wouldn't. And please give my condoleances to your 15 year old daughter -- I hope she will have the strenght of mind and guts to make her own decisions in life, love and family planning rather than being dominated by you.

[eyesfullofhope.livejournal.com]

RAGE RAGE RAGE.

As someone struggling with infertility, way to kick us while we're down you piece of fucking shit.

[fufaraw]

He's a F'idiot.

[maerhysetc.livejournal.com]

GRRRRR. No words except really hateful ones so I'll refrain.

[dragonspell.livejournal.com]

What a jackass. =\ You know, though? they HAVE to use lame-ass arguments like this one because otherwise? They wouldn't have any arguments at all. -_-