thoughts and words on difficult subjects

[mickeym]

This has been a really rough week, hasn't it. I've made and discarded at least a dozen posts, wanting to say something -- add my voice -- but not sure what to say or how to say it. I understand the whole idea that silence is bad, but sometimes it's difficult to find the words.

Racism is bad. Anything that demeans or stereotypes is bad, and perpetuating the same, however it's done (and especially if it's done with the claim that the person was 'unaware'), is equally as bad.

I feel for the persons who were hurt/offended by gatorgrrrl's story.

I also feel some empathy for the author, as well as overwhelming sadness that she's apparently having trouble understanding what she's done and why everyone is upset. Not because I know HER, or her motivations, or her ability (or disability) to understand things...but because I live with someone who has a very hard time understanding concepts of any sort until they're told to him over and over and over again.

(Note: I'm not saying this is the case with the author, and I'm not excusing her or her actions. Just why I do have some empathy here.)

gatorgrrrl may get it, eventually. Change in attitude, change in thoughts, ability to see what she's done and NOT do it again. I hope she does.

I know that all of the discussions and posts have made me think about things, and to examine my attitudes and opinion. I like to believe that each time something comes up (racism, sexism, sexual assault, whatever) that I learn something new, discover how to be a better, more aware person.

I talked with Matthew about the situation. The story idea the author had, what it involved. Why it was being reacted to the way it was. Then we talked about ableist attitudes/behaviors, and racism. I've tried very hard to raise him to look beyond a person's physical appearance (or sexual orientation, religion, etc) and see them based on their actions, their words. It's an on-going thing, because while he gets it sometimes, other times he'll call something 'gay' or 'retarded' when he means stupid. He tells "blonde jokes" sometimes. Once in a while I'll hear him use the word 'faggot' (which usually sends me into a spitting rage). He's surrounded by people daily who have no use for being open-minded, or aware, or thoughtful of how their words and actions can affect people. But I'm determined he WON'T be like that; that he'll understand why it's so important to think before speaking (or writing).

Comments

[shinycuba.livejournal.com]

"But I'm determined he WON'T be like that; that he'll understand why it's so important to think before speaking (or writing)"

I really applaud that - not just as 'another open minded person', but especially as a gender & ethnicity scholar. Ignorance is just the worst, worst thing ever and it saddens me to see that people will just say such hurtful things without even thinking about it. (it's actually called 'everyday racism'). So while I'll fully admit I don't know anything about raising children, I just want to say I think you are doing an awesome job with Matthew by being so dedicated to raising him in a great way that he can always talk to you, and that you can have an open communication about such things.

(off topic, but before I'd forget : http://www.style.it/vanitypeople/spy/tendenze/2010/06/ricky-martin-fa-il-papa-al-mare.aspx BEBES!! Oh, Ki. So beautiful)

[fannishliss.livejournal.com]

it's great that you can talk it out with Matthew. The problem of racism and white privilege is so entrenched in our culture that it's very different to know what to DO about it. We can talk all we want, but what do we do to CHANGE things... It's the hope that talking does Change things that makes it worthwhile. Hugs