I want a trade in, or a do-over, or something.

[mickeym]

On my kid. God.

He says to me, "I'm going to go for a walk outside and cool down" -- it's cool(er) and breezy outside, so fine. Checks his pocket, says "I have my phone" and then grabs something out of his desk drawer. I get a glimpse of something small/red and ask him, "what's in your pocket?" He says "my wallet". I ask again, he says, "just a note from Mallory I'm going to read". I tell him I know it's not wallet or note, what's in his pocket. Turn his pockets out. He stands in the doorway saying, "it's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing". I reached in his pocket myself and fished out a lighter.

So, asked him where the cigarettes are and he says "I don't have any". I told him I don't believe him -- and I don't. When he came back in, I made him turn off his phone and his computer -- he lied twice, so he gets two items taken away. He sat on the couch and pouted and tried to tell me that he would've gotten in trouble regardless, for having the lighter. I said all I would've done was make you throw it away; it's the lying he's in trouble for, and then he growls, "that's ME, you can't change ME". *headdesk* Then when I asked him to "throw your trash away" (from dinner) he looked at me and said "no". So I told him again to do it, and then sent him up to his room.

The funniest thing is that we went to the bank earlier, and on the way home he says to me, "have you noticed my attitude lately?" I started laughing and said Oh, boy, have I noticed his attitude; it changes so often I'm surprised he doesn't have whiplash. Absolutely, I notice his attitude, it's in my face all the time. Grrr.

Infanticide is still illegal, right?

Comments

[rosebee.livejournal.com]

Infanticide is still illegal, right?

Yes. Just remember he won't be under your roof forever!

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

HAH. Unfortunately, maybe not forever, but he won't be leaving any time soon. This kid can't even make it at his *dad's house* for a week without twice-daily phone calls (at least one of which was in the middle of the night, as he was sobbing). So, y'know.

But thanks :)

[faunaana.livejournal.com]

LOL, no, its not just who he is. Its NORMAL TEENAGE BEHAVIOR to lie your pants off to your parents.

I'M SORRY, YOU HAVE A NORMAL TEENAGER :D


(I got caught with a pack of cigarettes, so there was really no denying I was out for a smoke at that point, lol)

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know that it's normal teenage behavior--except he's turned it into something where he's not even always aware he's lying. He does it so often for everything, that's what the problem is.

But I also know it's normal to want to trade your normal teenager in ;)

[faunaana.livejournal.com]

AH, lying becomes so "natural" that he has difficulty figuring out that what he's saying IS a lie. TOUGH.

How about this, I've had a CRAP week at work, so I'm in pursuit of some good porn. If I find any, I'll drop you a line :P

[rainbow.livejournal.com]

*snuggly hugs*

yeah, still illegal, no matter how frustrating they are.

and lol at his wondering if you've noticed his attitude *g*

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

WHY CAN'T THEY LEGALIZE IT? Like, for extreme situations? *sigh*

*snuggles back*

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

*hugs* It will get better soon, sweetie.

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

I'mma hold you to that! *g*

[zillahseye.livejournal.com]

I'll say you were with me all the time.

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU. Jesus.

There was just a commercial on for...something or other, I dunno, something to do with motorcycles. And the voice-over was all, "Don't be a SISSY." And Matthew, the little shit, sits there and says, "replace the one S with a P and the i with a 'u'..." And ARGH.

I told him if he doesn't start engaging the filter that I know exists between his mouth and brain, then he's going to start losing the privilege of watching television.

[zillahseye.livejournal.com]

...at least he can do anagrams? I'M TRYING TO FIND A BRIGHT SIDE.

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Just provide me with an alibi, and we're golden *g*

[zillahseye.livejournal.com]

Officer, we was shooting rats allllll night.

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

"I used to bullseye Whomp Rats in my T-16 back home, all the time!" *earnest face*

[zillahseye.livejournal.com]

"This isn't the Kim you're looking for."

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha oh dear. I remember being a teenager who was equally bad at lying and equally squirrelly when caught.
When I have kids, can I just skip the entire teenage phase, magically? Reading posts from my friends w/ kids is VERY GOOD so that when I get baby-crazy I can remember that it is NOT ALL DAISIES AND SUNSHINE.

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Right now? I would HAPPILY repeat the terrible twos and threes. ARGH.

Like I just replied to the comment above: There was just a commercial on for...something or other, I dunno, something to do with motorcycles. And the voice-over was all, "Don't be a SISSY." And Matthew, the little shit, sits there and says, "replace the one S with a P and the i with a 'u'..." And ARGH.

I told him if he doesn't start engaging the filter that I know exists between his mouth and brain, then he's going to start losing the privilege of watching television.

[locknkey.livejournal.com]

Mine's only five - I am scared!

Still, thought many days of wondering this: Infanticide is still illegal, right?

[fufaraw]

So, you build a bunker in the back yard, or use a handy fallout shelter. You lock 'em in when they're 13, throw food and dvds in every so often, soap and toothpaste once in a while. And then you let them out when they're 25. Car insurance rates go down then. And while they're still macho little shits, at least the hormones have settled a little, not surging madly unpredictably all over the place.

Given a do-over? This is the option I'd like.