I cannot make this shit up

[mickeym]

OHMYGOD. Matthew's been up on my computer because I'm down here on the laptop, and he just comes down the stairs and says "I heard this buzzing sound and I was looking around, and I opened a drawer on your desk and found this thing, and what is it?" So I asked him if it's lavender and he said "no, it's silver." (it's really lavender)... and he says "so what is it?" To which I said "it's a vibrator, Matthew." And he's all "what is it?" "it's a vibrator." "Huh?" "IT'S A SEX TOY OKAY?" "Ohmy GOD, Mother!"

Ahh, kids. Life is never, ever, EVER dull with them around.

*headdesk*

Comments

[annella.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHA. That will teach him to go poking around in your desk! XD

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Oh, if ONLY. *g*

[annella.livejournal.com]

Maybe if you start storing ALL your sex toys in there, he will get the picture. :D 'don't go through my stuff because you won't like what you find!'

[arabella-hope.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHA - SORRY - AHAHAHAHA.

[raynedanser.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ahem.

Um. Yes. Marvin found mine once but I was able to distract him. Not sure I'll be able to again.

PS-
MOTHER?!?

[gretazreta.livejournal.com]

Oh man, that's classic.
I love so much that you just told him the truth. That's so great.

[azephirin.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha, oh, Matthew. Be careful what you snoop for....

[tabularassa.livejournal.com]

LMAO Oh boy!

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

OH. MY. GOD. I would have totally DIED if that happened to me!!!

[zillahseye.livejournal.com]

My friend's kid trying to use hers as a pen one day because I'd given her one of those Squiggle Wiggle Pens as a gift the year before. She couldn't figure out why it wasn't writing, so she yelled for her mom. Awkward.

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

HA. I hope I was more discreet than that as a kid, I remember being paranoid about trying NOT to find anything of my parents' that would traumatize me.

[nopseud]

Hee! He deserves some payback for all the trauma he's caused you :-)

[turps33.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha. That's awesome.

[deirdre-c.livejournal.com]

Nightmare!!!! And yet... I must laugh! :D

(My four year old got in a drawer the other day and was trying on my lingerie as dressup. EEF.)

[pocketfullof.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahahahahhahaha! I found my mom's vibrator once. It was... disturbing. It did not vibrate at me, though, so your poor KID.

[kateyes085.livejournal.com]

LMAO!

I'm sorry! It is too funny not to.

You poor thing.

[jolinarmalkshur.livejournal.com]

That's hilarious!
So glad i don't have kids...............yet. haha

The horrified "Ohmy GOD Mother" made me LMAO!

[ephemera.livejournal.com]

heeee - that'll teach him to get into your stuff!

[pensnest]

I maintain that every mother who owns a vibrator will have this happen, one day. Heh. My daughter was four when she detected mine - merciful time has erased the memory from her mind. Sadly, I'm afraid Matthew is now SCARRED FOR LIFE.

[azziria.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I just spat tea over my keyboard...

Isn't having kids wonderful?

[dark-cygnet.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahahaha! Dude, so funny. think this will keep him out of your drawers now? At least with kids, they can ask you about it, with cats, not so much. They go exploring and say hey, new thing to bat about. :D

[mkitty3.livejournal.com]

My youngest son found my sister's HUGE blue dildo in a box of her stuff that's stored at my mom's house. He asked my mom what it was! She said it was part of a shelf. I DON'T EVEN KNOW! So she hides it and a few days later my older son comes upstairs with it and asks mom what it is. This time she tells him it is something to put fabric softner in and throws it in the washing machine!!!! Her lies are so random and off the wall, and YET. The boys totally bought them and went on about their business, no more questions. She insisted my sister get it out of her house right away. LOL