from the annals of 'oh, shit, kids and sex'...

[mickeym]

In all my !!!!! over packing and the debate and everything last night, I forgot the share the absolute highlight of my day yesterday:

Matthew: "Every girl hates me."
Me: "...I doubt every girl in the wor--"
Matthew: "All the girls in my school hate me."
Me: "I seriously doubt it, honey. They're just like you: not sure what to say/do."
Matthew: "I don't want to die a virgin, mom."
Me: "...!!!..."

WE WERE IN THE CAR, people! I WAS DRIVING!

Seriously, it's a testament to my driving skills that I didn't wreck, because if there was anything I was expecting him to say? It wasn't THAT.

*headdesk*

Definitely need to reiterate the "always use condoms, always!" speech.

Comments

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

I can laugh 'cause I am not and never will be a parent, therefore my gigglefit cannot come back to haunt me. ^__^

[thehighwaywoman.livejournal.com]

O_O

[als-wonderland.livejournal.com]

Well, remind him that grade school and high school are things to be endured and that college is much, Much better. In many ways.

(And I saw him in the pic you linked to. He's got nothin' to worry about. There will be a girlie that will cotton on to that sweetie. *grin* My sympathies to you though!)

[nopseud]

Dude, I'm afraid I'm just utterly gleeful that at least one genuine teenager somewhere in the world has actually said 'I don't want to die a virgin'. Now I feel totally justified in using the phrase in fiction :-)

{squishiehugs}

(Also, you should tell him that he's *seriously* increasing his risk of dying a virgin by making comments like that when you're trying to drive.)

[pensnest]

Well, he made this woman very happy, but not quite the way he had in mind.

*giggles*

[benitle.livejournal.com]

I think your kid is absolutely priceless. :)

[cormallen.livejournal.com]

Awwwwww HONEY that's absolutely priceless! *smishes*

[twasadark.livejournal.com]

Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!!! Keep strong, bb!!

At least he's sharing his fears with you ... right?

[ihearthings-ii.livejournal.com]

ahahahaha. *Pats shoulder* Good luck!

[munibunny.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! Matthew is adorable! *hugs*

[azephirin.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahaha! Oh, Matthew, every teenager in the world feels your pain. :)

Seriously, though, it says a lot about his level of trust in you that he was comfortable saying that! I mean, God knows I thought it (or something very similar to it) when I was that age, but sex was NEVER anything I discussed with my parent-types.

[tabularassa.livejournal.com]

OMG I love your child! LMFAO

[meinnim.livejournal.com]

You have mad driving skills. I would have choked and then veered off.

Oh Matthew.

[ladyvyola.livejournal.com]

Never mind me. I'm just over here pointing and laughing.

::relaxes in the comfort of permanent aunt-hood::

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Never EVER say 'never'. *g*

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

YUP. Pretty much my reaction. *Still* pretty much my reaction, when I think about it *g*

I need an icon likes yours. F'r realz.

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thanks *g*

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Suuure, be gleeful over my pain. :P I'll just send him to stay with YOU for a while :)

And yeah, I did mention that saying things like that while Mom is driving isn't the best way to ensure a long life. *g*

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Pbbbbbth to you, too *g*

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Glad you think so :) Want him, for a while? Just, maybe 'til he's 18 or so? *g*

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Uh-huh. Want him for a while? 3-4 years, maybe? o_O

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

...right. *g*

Sometimes, though. *headdesk*

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Thanks, ever so *g*

[cormallen.livejournal.com]

Well... if you're prepared for who you'll get back. Even my cats are jerks, which, I think, describes my parenting skills in a nutshell. *g*

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

You want him? *g* Just for a few years? :)

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

I've encouraged open dialogue with him on any subject since he was old enough to talk. I wish I could say "eep, it's come back to bite me on the ass", except I am glad he feels like he can talk to me. It's just the two of us; we gotta stick together, y'know?

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Uh-huh. How much would you love having to deal with him 24/7? *g* I could send him to you, so you could figure it out... ;)

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Well, I did choke. But thank goodness for 24+ years of driving experience, y'know? *g*

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

I'll just be over here pointing and laughing when your nieces/nephews decide "ooh, I think I'll ask auntie this..." :P

[tabularassa.livejournal.com]

Bring it, baby. LMAO ♥

[ladyvyola.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm the one who's already providing 4 year-old Nicky with his choice of sparkly lip gloss. He favors the brownish tone on his upper lip and the pinkish tone on the lower.