Is it just me who finds this creepy?

[mickeym]

In Pursuit of Teen Purity

The pictures are bad enough -- the one at the top of the article has (presumably) two fathers and two daughters, and one "couple" are in what seriously looks like a couple-y pose. *shudder*

The whole thing is creepy, in my opinion, but this passage from the article just creeps me the fuck out (bolding is mine):

When Kylie was 13, her parents took her on a hike in Lake Tahoe, Calif. "We discussed what it means to be a teenager in today's world," she says. They gave her a charm for her bracelet--a lock in the shape of a heart. Her father has the key. "On my wedding day, he'll give it to my husband," she explains. "It's a symbol of my father giving up the covering of my heart, protecting me, since it means my husband is now the protector. He becomes like the shield to my heart, to love me as I'm supposed to be loved."

In theory, I get the idea behind the Purity Balls. But why isn't anyone addressing this with boys, too? Why isn't anyone getting all the kids together and saying "hey, you know what? You don't have to have sex, or (whatever, fill in the blank). Just be kids, have a good time growing up."

Honestly, I think the whole focus on 'purity' is more than a little weird (and not a little Victorian. Or, y'know, medieval.). If people want their daughters to be pure, well. Let's get rid of "french maid" halloween costumes for *children*. Or crop tops. Or shorts, etc., that have words written across the butt, or the other myriad of girls' fashions that seem determined to flaunt and exploit children and teens' sexuality.

And for God's sake, include the boys, too!

Comments

[cormallen.livejournal.com]

I've read about this before, and it has only gotten more creepy. Going from "belongs to Daddy" to "belongs to Hubby" just doesn't sit right with me (and that's if you don't even touch the fact that single mothers are nothing unusual).
The very idea of a parent owning their child's "purity" is an abhorrent concept to me. I remember what I was told as a child and teenager about sex, I know what my friends were told, and I know what I ended up doing. And combining that with what I know now, from working with teens, from seeing their parents' influence in their lives - I believe that the best thing a parent can instill in a child is that sex is natural, normal and healthy. That there is a right time for it, that there is nothing wrong with exploring, and learning one's own body before learning someone else's. That there is nothing wrong with being prepared, with knowing what sex actually entails, what it can mean emotionally as well as physically, that actual protection such as condoms (and whatever additional things one chooses to use) is key, but so is trust and care and... well, this isn't something you just plunk on top of your child's head at some ball. It's not one conversation, it's not two conversations, it's not dressing your daughter up in a pretty dress and taking her to a dance where you tell her "don't do it" so you can feel like you fulfilled your parental duty.
It's about making sure your child trusts you and knows you care, and is comfortable talking to you about sex and relationships and the body and any other issues he or she might be concerned about. It's about the child knowing that his or her parents have relationships - and sex - or don't - just like anyone else. I've never understood that so common response, that whole, "ew, my parents have sex? I hope it was just the once". We all have bodies, and needs, both physical and emotional, and addressing those needs in a healthy, fulfilling way should be the key, not... some kind of freaky bracelet or a fearful promise of "I'll be your little girl up until you give me away to the guy whose little girl I'll be then."
Eesh, LJ doesn't want me to add to this, because it chopped off the last bit of my comment, so editing to just end it on the above note.