yikes!

[mickeym]

The Charmin commercials with the bears? Usually cute and kind of amusing. But the one that starts out with the Papa Bear crooning what sounds like Barry White WHILE CARESSING THE ROLL OF TOILET PAPER? That's just creepy. Yick.

Tomorrow I have the Trustee Meeting for my bankruptcy. I'm anxious, not so much about the meeting itself, but about getting there. Finding parking nearby. Not being late. I'm leaving ridiculously early -- 7a -- even though my appointment isn't until 930a. It's all the way downtown, which means the traffic will be crazy the later I wait to go. I'd rather be early and sit and read while waiting, than be late. But I'll be glad when it's over.

Matthew brought home a copy of the school newspaper today, and while reading through it he says, "hey mom, what does this spell?" and spells out 'provocative'. When I told him the word, then I had to explain to him (and Justin, natch) what it meant. I asked what it was used in. Apparently they had a school-wide poll, "do you think girls dress too provocatively" (or something to that effect). O_O



M: "That was a lot of money, over six bucks."
Me: "Six dollars? For BATTERIES? What the hell did you get?"
M: "Well, not just batteries. I got one other thing."
Me: "What other thing?"
M: "It's a personal item, mom."
Me: "What'd you get??"
M: *sheepish look* "Condoms."
Me: "...."
Me: "...."
Justin: "Dude, what kind did you get? The ribbed ones are good."
Me: "JUSTIN!"
M: "I got Trojans. The lubed kind."
Me: "....!!!"

After Justin went home I asked Matthew why he bought condoms, and he says, "better to have them in case I need them, right?" Uh. Then he says, "they have expiration dates on them, right?" I said yes, so then we had to look at the expiration date to see that they're good until like, June of 2013, and Matthew says, "good! That's when I'll graduate from high school." *headdesk*

I told him he should probably at some point practice putting them on, so he knows what he's doing MUCH LATER DOWN THE ROAD when he has to use one, and he looks at me and says, "how do I do that? Don't I need to have an erection?"

*headdesk* I said yes, that would be helpful, but that he could practice instead on a banana. And THAT was the part of the conversation he thought was weird. O_O

Comments

[quiet000001.livejournal.com]

... At least he's buying them and willing to practice?

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

I guess so. I'm just glad my hair doesn't show as gray, just lighter blond. *g*

[quiet000001.livejournal.com]

Just to be really helpful, I'll point out that if you haven't, you should mention to him the issue of latex allergies, also. Particularly if he's practicing, because latex-free condoms, like latex-free gloves, have less stretch and so are a bit different to use than the latex variety.

*looks helpful*

(Hey, I wouldn't want him to end up with someone allergic to latex and be all 'well, we just won't use condoms then...')

[rainbow.livejournal.com]

*meeting vibes*

*giggles at the kid convo*

i remember senior year of high school there was a banana demo in the health class....

i like quiet's suggestion re mentioning non-latex.

and making sure he thoroughly understands that latex and oil don't play nice together might be good, too...

[ohevet-likro.livejournal.com]

About the trustee's meeting tomorrow, I wouldn't want to suggest that you be late or anything but the last 2 meetings I've gone to (for a client) have run REALLY late - like the trustee finished the 9:30 meetings at around 11:45...And there is usually a second call if you happen to miss being called the first time just in case of terrible traffic etc.

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Oh, Jesus. *dies* Something else to worry about. But a valid point, too. Thank you, I think *g*

I so need a *headdesk* icon. *g*

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

I honestly can't remember anything about my health class -- except that I had one. Of course, that was my freshman year, which is now 29 years in the past... *g*

I guess we'll have to discuss lubricants. Oi. "Stick with these brands and you'll be fine."

REALLY NEED A *headdesk* ICON NOW. :P

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Well, I guess I should take a long book with me, just in case. Yeesh. And not park at a meter. *g*

[gestaltrose.livejournal.com]

*maniacal laughter*

I have an eighteen year old that I embarrass on a consistent basis.

[quiet000001.livejournal.com]

I admit that my motivation for sharing that particular point was a combination of being helpful and slightly sadistic glee. :)

(But, you know, I really wouldn't want him - or anyone - to end up in a situation where a latex allergy WAS a problem and end up taking a stupid risk either because they didn't know an alternative was available, or because they'd ripped or otherwise damaged the non-latex condom they had. Which is easier to do, because of the whole less-stretchy thing - they're more likely to tear if you poke at them with a fingertip too hard. Plus, at least when I last looked, latex-free condoms were significantly more expensive than the normal latex variety, and much less likely to be handed out free. So it seems more likely for someone to end up in a situation where they only have one or two on hand, and teenagers being as they are, the temptation would clearly be to say 'well, just this once...') (Admittedly, I go to a fairly liberal college in a fairly liberal area, but I'm pretty sure that if I wanted to, I could end up with a small crate worth of free latex condoms with minimal effort. So I anticipate kids being more likely to have easier access to a larger supply of them - even if they have to buy them, you get more for your money, too.)

(If you really want to horrifically embarrass him, if they're not too expensive, I'll buy a box and wrap it up and mail it to you for Christmas for him from 'Santa'. Possibly along with a fake banana. ;) )

[quiet000001.livejournal.com]

My health class involved watching the miracle of life video AGAIN.

My gym class, on the other hand, involved us watching a video for the teacher (who was also the health teacher) to give our opinions, since she couldn't decide if she wanted to show it in health class, in which Sinbad (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinbad_%28entertainer%29 ) was dressed up in a giant condom suit.

I have no idea what else happened in the video, because my brain seized on "that is Sinbad Dressed. Up. Like. A. Condom." and never got beyond that. :)

(P.S. I believe you can make the oil-latex conversation less embarrassing by treating it as a science type thing, using latex gloves instead of condoms. Get the thin hospital kind, not the thicker dish-washing kind. I suspect there are probably instructions how to do it properly online somewhere.)

[turps33.livejournal.com]

Hope the meeting goes well ♥

[zillahseye.livejournal.com]

Hey, we just learned that a black man got AIDS from fucking a monkey and a gay man gave it to everyone in the US in our health class! I feel so jealous over people who got bananas. (Of course, our visiting cop also explained that you could cover a breathalyzer by quick swish with Listerine, so.)

[rainbow.livejournal.com]

ahahahah at sinbad in the condom suit!

one of my friends made "mr happy" (the giant condom costume) for "amazon women on the moon" and got to keep it afterwards. i think he went to an sf&f con afterwards and passed out condoms as happy the easter condom.

[rainbow.livejournal.com]

*blink* whoa...

i mean i *know* that there was a lot of misinformation given out in the 80s, but i'm still in shock that those sorts of blatant lies were both legal and that there were teachers that were okay with spreading that sort of crap.

[zillahseye.livejournal.com]

I still occasionally come across some iceberg of bullshit from my early education and go "...did that really happen?"

[rahaeli.livejournal.com]

Another thing you might want to mention is that some people react badly to the spermicide in condoms that contain it -- I can't use them, for instance, because they are a one-way ticket to yeast infections. So I have to use the non-spermicidal kind. I know some men who get a rash from the spermicidal version, too.

If you haven't already pointed him at Scarleteen (http://www.scarleteen.com/), now is probably a good time!

[clumsygyrl.livejournal.com]

at least he knows to be safe?