caution: fannish nattering and contemplation within

[mickeym]

I've been pretty removed from all things fannish lately. A combination of trying to get my big bang finished and also just the sheer amount of mental/emotional energy that unemployment/job-hunting/living at poverty level brings.

To tell the truth, I had so much trouble writing my big bang that I was honestly afraid that I'd reached the end of my fannish period for SPN. I've wondered for a while now, because I just couldn't bring myself to care much about anything to do with the show or the actors or the characters since the finale. Part of it is my RL stuff. But part of it, too, is a combination of the gut-wrenching ending we got for S5 and the whole twisty mess of getting over-involved with RPF. However happy I am that the guys seem to be happy getting married and doing their newly-wed thing, there's still a tiny part of me that will forever wish there could really be a Jared-n-Jensen. *shrug* I am in touch with reality enough to know there won't be, but I wish there could be.

I've been in SPN fandom now since early in 2006, which puts me at about 4.5 years. The fandom has changed a LOT in that time. Not for better or worse, just change, but any of y'all who know me know that change often shakes me up. So I figure some of my ambivalence toward fandom and SPN is probably due to that, as well.

I'm not ready to be done with SPN -- and fortunately, I don't think it's ready to be done with me. I rewatched the S5 finale earlier, and cried, which I like to think I wouldn't do if I didn't still feel invested in it. I want to write more. I want to get involved again. In some ways, I feel like I'm starting all over with it, because so many of my friends that I met through SPN have moved on, or disappeared, while I'm still here. I hope things pick up again once the new season starts, but even so, fandom in general is kind of all about new beginnings, isn't it? No matter what your particular fannish interest and when/where you start, there's always a beginning there somewhere.

I've seen a lot of posts and comments scattered around about stuff that came out during ComicCon. Spoilers for S6, pictures, panels -- if anyone could point me toward specific posts, or PM me with information, I would love you forever. Don't put spoilers in the comments, please, because I know a lot of my friends are not spoiler-friendly and I don't want to inadvertently ruin things for someone else. But links are good, or, like I said, a PM with all the info you might have :)

Comments

[missyjack.livejournal.com]

Super Wiki has a page on Comic Con and links to stuff (http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=Comic_Con_2010) and another one for all spoilers (http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=Season_6_Spoilers) - which have me buzzing with excitiment!

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

Thanks, darlin'. I always forget about the Super Wiki (and man, I went for about a week without even LOOKING at LJ/internet, so what I did catch was so haphazard, oi).

[locknkey.livejournal.com]

links to stuff - this covers most of the comic con stuff
http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_spnparty/259118.html
http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_spnparty/260751.html
http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_spnparty/262150.html

SPN is my first fandom and I've only been in it a year and I don't see it the same way I did even a year ago. It's hard to explain - but I don't think any of us like change - comfort zine and all that. :)

[destina.livejournal.com]

http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_spnparty/259118.html

http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_spnparty/258459.html

http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_spnparty/260751.html

http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_spnparty/262150.html#cutid1




http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_spnparty/264754.html#cutid1

[jeeronie.livejournal.com]

Interesting, what you just wrote is exactly what I've been thinking.
I'm particularly sad that a lot of the people I remember from early on fandom have moved on but every time I think of trying to go somewhere else it just feels wrong.
I'm very, very resistant to change even though it is often not good for me *sigh*.

But, on the other hand I don't get bored because fandom (and Show) keep changing so that's a plus.

I made a summary of all the spoilers I heard from different sources but in my own language. I can translate it to English easily if you want :D

[wendy.livejournal.com]

Everything is linked at the superwiki!

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

I have to tell you, I was SO happy that you wrote a Sam/Dean big bang this year - I often feel like the people I cherish in this fandom don't write as much anymore, and I *miss* them. I miss their writing, I miss knowing what's going on with them. I hate the feeling that "everyone" is moving on to another fandom, while I'm as fandom-monogamous as ever. It's....unsettling. Scary almost, like it kicks up abandonment fears or something. *shudders*

I'm a Sam/Dean shipper much more than J2 shipper, but I still feel unsettled about the impact the RL nuptials have had on the fandom - or that I keep fearing they've had, at the very least. But you know, RL is more complicated than that anyway - who knows what anyone gets up to behind the scenes? I prefer to think that G and D are as open-minded as the rest of us. After all, look who they wanted?! It also helps to watch the boys together - rings safely displayed on fingers, they can go back to being affectionate with each other. ;) They were lovely at Comic Con, and I had a chance to see them at one of the Euro cons, and they were adorable there, behind the scenes and onstage. So.

As for Show, no spoilers here but I hate some of the upcoming season plan. I do trust Show to make it a brief flirtation with that hated thing, but yeah, there it is. I feel the need to write some fix-it fic, to make sense of the S5 finale in my own head. Stay tuned, we'll see if it works. In the interim, big big big hugs and a "please stay here and play with me a while longer!" :)

[fufaraw]

::nods:: Yep. You know how I feel. I'm deliberately avoiding spoilers--I know for some people taking the shock out of a thing beforehand helps them process. I wish that were true for me. But knowing about a development ahead of time just makes me obssess about it. I'll wait and deal at the time, I guess.

I don't know the unpopular plan, I just know the plan is unpopular. Just gotta wait and see, yup.