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I love fandom, or why Cramp will forever own my soul *g*
It seems The Lava Lamp story strikes again. (Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water... *koff*) ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
without_me shared it with a friend, who was suitably...impressed *g* And doubted its authenticity! So far as we know, someone really wrote it, intending it to be a 'serious' story. One could even presume it was intended to be hot/sexy.
Personally, there's no experience that tops anything to do (hah, I said 'tops') with it quite like READING IT OUTLOUD AT A FAN GATHERING. Which I have done. With the help of liquor. *g*
turps33 did a fantastic illustrated version, with the help of the Nsync Marionettes. (PSA: Don't attempt to eat or drink while viewing it.)
It spawned a whole 'nother sub-genre of fic, the Cramp!stories (for the uninitiated, that would be Chris/Lamp).
And then there's
1. turgid meat pressing against the cleft of his cheeks
2. The musky manliness of Lance wafted up to JC's nose
3. The bulbous head of JC's dick
4. his wiry pubes scratching his upturned ass
5. pull his tumescent dick from Lance's clenching orifice
6. His massive member slick with Lance's insides
7. Chris' tight rosebud
8. effectively spearing himself on JC's probing digit
9. lapped up JC's essence
10. head of his bloated cock
11. The fiery cum which had erupted from his member a few moments ago was cooling in a liquid pool
12. dripping a steady river of precum
13. the piss slit belched forth its white treasure
14. their twin towers of terror began pulsating
15. began to lap up the intoxicating mixture as it continued to drain out of Chris' stretched hole.
PSA#2: Don't click that cut-tag if you have 1) a weak stomach or 2) you're eating and/or drinking
So. Anyone have any additions to that list? *g* Or want to nominate their, *koff* 'favorite' off that list? Personally, I'm torn between #6 and #13 as my favorite ;)
Seriously, as much as I love Sam and Dean, and Supernatural... I haven't yet found anything quite as amusing/horrifying/entertaining/weird/far-fetched as the whole lava lamp thing. It has a special place in my heart *g*
without_me shared it with a friend, who was suitably...impressed *g* And doubted its authenticity! So far as we know, someone really wrote it, intending it to be a 'serious' story. One could even presume it was intended to be hot/sexy. Personally, there's no experience that tops anything to do (hah, I said 'tops') with it quite like READING IT OUTLOUD AT A FAN GATHERING. Which I have done. With the help of liquor. *g*
turps33 did a fantastic illustrated version, with the help of the Nsync Marionettes. (PSA: Don't attempt to eat or drink while viewing it.)It spawned a whole 'nother sub-genre of fic, the Cramp!stories (for the uninitiated, that would be Chris/Lamp).
And then there's
1. turgid meat pressing against the cleft of his cheeks
2. The musky manliness of Lance wafted up to JC's nose
3. The bulbous head of JC's dick
4. his wiry pubes scratching his upturned ass
5. pull his tumescent dick from Lance's clenching orifice
6. His massive member slick with Lance's insides
7. Chris' tight rosebud
8. effectively spearing himself on JC's probing digit
9. lapped up JC's essence
10. head of his bloated cock
11. The fiery cum which had erupted from his member a few moments ago was cooling in a liquid pool
12. dripping a steady river of precum
13. the piss slit belched forth its white treasure
14. their twin towers of terror began pulsating
15. began to lap up the intoxicating mixture as it continued to drain out of Chris' stretched hole.
PSA#2: Don't click that cut-tag if you have 1) a weak stomach or 2) you're eating and/or drinking
So. Anyone have any additions to that list? *g* Or want to nominate their, *koff* 'favorite' off that list? Personally, I'm torn between #6 and #13 as my favorite ;)
Seriously, as much as I love Sam and Dean, and Supernatural... I haven't yet found anything quite as amusing/horrifying/entertaining/weird/far-fetched as the whole lava lamp thing. It has a special place in my heart *g*
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Oh, this is never ever not funny. I think 6 has to come near the top of the list, but then there's 10-15, which can also not be underestimated in their rankness. i mean... The piss slit belched forth its white treasure? Really? TREASURE? *gags*
For fun and crack, The fic that goes with the candle salad pics (http://dsudis.livejournal.com/380931.html) is also good. Crack, but not really badfic, so not a patch on the lava lamp.
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*Nobody* tops Lamp!
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It would be very messy, wouldn't it? And there would be tragic breakage.
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*dies again*
It's...really hard to choose a winner from that distinguished list! Um. I think I have to choose #14, just because it makes me thing of Dinosaur Comics (http://www.qwantz.com/archive/000987.html) and that just makes me giggle all the more.
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I was going to provide you (see how generous!) with a link to
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Oh man, I'm crying from laughing too hard.
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Lava Lamp Fic Index
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OH. MY. GOD.
READING IT OUTLOUD AT A FAN GATHERING
You're a much braver soul than me, Kim. I can't even bring myself to say 'turgid meat' without laughing hysterically or cringing in horror.
#5 gets my vote only because of the word temuscent. What the hell is tumescent? *dies*
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#13 is such a ridiculous combination of words that it's hilarious. :D
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Our stomachs ached afterward, we all laughed so hard, so I don't have ANY trouble imagining that hotel security was called ;)
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srsly i think i broke somethign laughing. Thank you for taking me back to that awful teriible yet happy place!
LAVA LAMPS RULE!
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*DIES*
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PS - #13 totally rocks!