mickeym | marie claire sucks

Entry tags:

weight self-esteem

marie claire sucks

By way of

annella:

Who wants to see fat people in love? Not Marie Claire.

That is a link to a discussion of an article in fucking MARIE CLAIRE about how disgusting fat people are. Like Elle said in her post, I'm not linking to the article; it's easy enough to find it, and I don't want to encourage traffic to their site.

Here's an excerpt from the article: So anyway, yes, I think I’d be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other … because I’d be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I’d find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair.

(I particularly like that the anti!fat writer misspelled 'heroin'.)

I feel...anger and sorrow at this. At the attitude toward obesity in general. There are so many reasons why people are overweight: genetic factors, emotional factors, health things like thyroid or blood sugar. For some it's a combination of things.

I weigh somewhere in the area of 430lbs right now. I am -- and probably always will be, to some degree -- one of those people that the author is talking about not wanting to see sharing affection/being intimate because of the gross factor. And it's attitudes LIKE hers that make me not want to step foot outside my house because I'm likely to be one of the heaviest people in any gathering. I don't want to open myself up for emotional hurt. I had more than enough experiences growing up of being called "fatty" and "fatso", and being picked last for kickball. I had to endure comments when I was older about how it must suck that my stomach sticks out further than my boobs. Whispers that followed me if I went into a store by myself.

Right now it's hard enough to make myself go outside and walk, move, whatever. It's physically painful and difficult, and it would be really easy to give up trying. It would be nice to think that when I do go out that if I'm being judged by anyone it's for what I'm saying or doing. That I'm judged for ME and not my appearance.

I know that's not the case. I am painfully aware that that's not the case. No doubt I've lost job opportunities because someone didn't want to hire someone who's obviously morbidly obese. I know there are people who feel obesity somehow affects intelligence, and that I'm probably being judged as stupid. There are days, depending on my mood and how my self-esteem is at that particular moment, I'd probably agree with them.

My husband left me for someone who is tall and slender--and dumb as a rock.

I HATE that there is so much attention paid to what people look like. The emphasis on being thin and "gorgeous" that's everywhere, in all forms of media.

I have as much right as anyone else to kiss whom I want wherever I want. If I'm losing weight, it's not because I'm trying to spare someone's delicate sensibilities. It's because I want to be healthier over all, for me. If I choose NOT to lose weight, that's also my decision, and if I have someone to kiss I will do so in public if I want...and if it bothers whoever might be looking, well. Don't look. It's your problem, not mine.

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Damn - you know I hate this shit - we talked about it some.

You are beautiful, hon and It was such a pleasure to get to know you better. :) You are also, smart and strong and loving and I am so so blessed that I was able to see you in person - it made it that much better. :)

I've never met a woman who was entirely happy with her appearance and I think articles like this have a lot to answer for.

I'd so much rather see any two people kiss in public than subject myself to the kind of poison words like this promote.

::hugs you tight::

Oh wow, that is truly truly terrible to think, let alone think it was ok to publish. How revolting.

And you know what else? I would send them a letter saying the exact thing you said here. They need to know that was a horrible line they crossed.

i have no words for this. it seems to me that discrimination against overweight people is somehow seen as ok. This whole thing makes me sad, is love only for the slim and beautiful?

I lost respect for Marie Claire in 2001 when they printed an "I'M GAY!" cover about Justin Timberlake and it turned out to be an out-of-context quote where he was denying it. If you'll out someone when it's a lie, you'd out someone when it was true. Doing either lumps you with asswipe tabloids on the end of supermarket aisles. But replacing actual content from an interviewee in favor of something you decided was "scandalous" is even lower than working for a tabloid, because tabloids don't take up their victim's time in good faith. They're honest thieving scum.

ETA: Not that it's any excuse to be an ass in public, and she surely had editors who approved her message, but I have a LITTLE more understanding for the Marie Claire writer now that I see at that link you left that she's in recovery for an eating disorder. Depending how "recovered" you are, that type of thing can leave a blinding chunk of pathology in your brain.

Edited 2010-10-27 01:47 (UTC)

Ah, well, you know most of us have weight issues of varying degrees so you're not alone in the way you feel. Just don't give up because some small minded individuals decided to call attention to themselves. You're an amazing woman... and you're doing fantastic job holding it together. Don't let this shit get you down!

I saw this come up on my facebook feed today. Marie Claire strikes again with the terrible size related articles. My first reaction to that article was, "You don't like Mike and Molly? Change the fucking channel."

What's even more killer is that the article author one struggled with anorexia and body issues, which is in the same freaking boat really. That woman has some incredible nerve.

*glomps you*

From one big woman to another I think you're fantastic and my heroine... not heroin... although you can be addicting.

I am fat, sexy, and lovable and I will kiss whomever I damn well please (as long as they're consenting) whenever and wherever I want to... and if they don't like it they can kiss my big fat ass.

*hugs, sneaky gropes and very obvious kisses* *with tongue*

*leaves laughing*

You're beautiful and so strong.
<3

I did go search for the article, and she put in an ETA (too little, too late, I'm sure many people will say, but she did acknowledge her own eating disorder issues as warping her judgment.) I'm putting the whole thing here since you didn't want the article linked.

UPDATE: I would really like to apologize for the insensitive things I've said in this post. Believe it or not, I never wanted anyone to feel bullied or ashamed after reading this, and I sorely regret that it upset people so much. A lot of what I said was unnecessary; it wasn't productive, either.
  

I know a lot of people truly struggle to lose weight— for medical and psychological reasons—and that many people have an incredibly difficult time getting to a healthy size. I feel for those people and I'm truly sorry I added to the unhappiness and pain they feel with my post.
  

I would like to reiterate that I think it's great to have people of all shapes and healthy sizes represented in magazines (as, it bears mentioning here, they are in Marie Claire) and on TV shows--and that in my post, I was talking about a TV show that features people who are not simply a little overweight, but appear to be morbidly obese. (Morbid obesity is defined as 100% more than their ideal weight.) And for whatever it's worth, I feel just as uncomfortable when I see an anorexic person as I do when I see someone who is morbidly obese, because I assume people suffering from eating disorders on either end of the spectrum are doing damage to their bodies, and that they are unhappy. But perhaps I shouldn’t be so quick to judge based on superficial observations.
 

To that point (and on a more personal level), a few commenters and one of my friends mentioned that my extreme reaction might have grown out of my own body issues, my history as an anorexic, and my life-long obsession with being thin. As I mentioned in the ongoing dialogue we’ve been carrying on in the comments section, I think that's an accurate insight.
 

People have accused me of being a bully in my post; I never intended to be that--it's actually the very last thing I want to be, as a writer or a person. But I know that I came off that way, and I really cannot apologize enough to the people whom I upset.

It's a very superficial thing. We're a melting pot of shape and size and that only scratches the surface of who people really are.

I quit caring what anyone thought about whether they liked the way I looked a while ago. All that matters are the people who love you and will always back you up. That's what counts! Society has ruined us as far as looks go. Everything is airbrushed on a page. Hello, all women have cellulitis, lol. So?

♥

I read that on Jezebel (http://jezebel.com/5673680/what-was-marie-claire-thinking-with-this-fatties-piece) and I was flabbergasted.

This writer sucks. People aren't stupid or gross because they are fat. THIN DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY EQUAL HEALTHY OR SEXY!!

You know what phrase we have to eliminate MORBIDLY OBESE. It is an offensive term that suggests people are walking around diseased and gloomy. That phrase totally pisses me off and I think the "doctors" the diet industry pays came up with that phrase to scare people into thinking they are horrible people because they are fat. Well fuck them. Oh, I am so mad, I'm so sorry.

planning to read your whole entry at home, but there is a new show in the US - mike and molly. Look it up. I have the eps. It's real good.

I think you're beautiful and brainy and one of the most generous and caring people I know. And if I haven't said it lately, I admire the hell out of you for everything you're doing to make your life better for you, from the weight loss to the going-back-to-school. Because you rock. ♥

This is absolutely appalling, and I refuse to sit back and let this bullshit carry on.

I've made my utter disgust for this article known on both my journal (http://sangre-fria.livejournal.com/82615.html) and through an email directly to Marie Claire's editor in chief:

Dear Ms. Coles,

I'm writing in regards to an article posted yesterday on MarieClaire.com entitled 'Should "Fatties" Get a Room? (Even on TV?)', written by Maura Kelly. I'm sure you've already received plenty of emails like this one, but I feel that the point bears repeating.

I was horribly offended by both the chosen diction and overall message of that article. Not because I feel personally attacked by it, but because it is one of the most deplorable things I have ever read. It showed a gross lack of sensitivity and maturity; it was mean, petty, and wholly lacking in any kind of substance. The entire point and purpose of the article was to point a finger at a group of people and go "Eww, eww, eww!" like an elementary school bully. This is the exact opposite of what publishable journalism should be, and I highly doubt that this kind of behavior is what you would like to become synonymous with your magazine.

I am not a usual reader of Marie Claire magazine; in fact, this article is my first impression of it. A scathing and disgusted discussion of this article appeared on the friends' page of my online network of choice, which I then followed back to its source at MarieClaire.com. Many of the people involved in that discussion have posted about it as well, which is spreading the word like wildfire. By tomorrow, hundreds (if not thousands) more people will be viewing and condemning the utter rot that your magazine has published. Media organizations are beginning to recognize the power of the Internet in this way; one terrible mistake like this can be heard around the world within hours, and I think that you should take more care in deciding what is published on your watch.

I hate Marie Claire, although I know that they are not the only ones who think this (or even publish it), although the mention of Elle and MC make me think there is a Nina Garcia connection to this. I digress.

I could write a novel on weight and self-esteem (and even self-efficacy) but I'll leave it at I empathize so much and anyone who doesn't give you a chance is fucking themselves over and they don't deserve the pleasure of your company.

Doug left because he's an idiot. Don't be hiding any "if only I was thinner/taller he wouldn't have..." thoughts in your head. *eyes you suspiciously*

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I have been obese and I have been thin, and it has never ever been anybody else's business but mine.

I don't see why the weight of someone should be of importance to anyone but themselves. It's bad if people don't feel good and struggle with it as is with any other personal problem you may have trouble with but unless you are a friend or a professional trying to help the person I don't see what you have to do with it.

On a petty note: what would someone like her think if I said I find it disgusting when I see prejudiced people kissing?

Also, kudos for your strength in losing weight, I hope you get to where you feel good, rooting for you.

There have been so many studies of what, when, and how people eat that prove that most obese people (of course there are exceptions, I'm talking about the normative majority of people who weigh significantly more than is healthy for their frame and body type) actually eat less than their slimmer counterparts. There is such a thing as predisposition, and if you're born with it, you're condemned to fight it your whole life.

But people who have "thin genes" look at large people and see a lack of willpower, a lack of self-esteem, a lack of sufficient pride in one's self to maintain a healthy body. And of course standards of "healthy appearance" have grown ludicrous in their endorsement of vanishing percentages of body fat, visible muscle mass, and apparent bone and tendon. People with those sorts of body types are vaunted and praised right now, but most of them have done little or nothing to achieve them, just as I've done little or nothing to achieve resemblance to a bowling ball.

As far as scolding the writer and vilifying the magazine, all of that is generated interest and traffic, so in their eyes the article was a rousing success, as it has doubled or tripled their hit count.

::shrug:: We can't win, not as long as they're making the rules. We have to make up our own rules and play our own games, and let the skinny-obsessed preen and strut for each other and themselves.

Me, I'll cheer on your and anybody's efforts to improve your health and mobility, and expect the same from you and the rest of us oversized and large-hearted people.

((((you)))).

And some more *hugs*, just because.

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