mickeym: (misc_uniparent: what's your super power?)
I have (as y'all probably know) a kid. A teenager, at that. That kid has a cell phone. While this is occasionally handy, it's more often a royal pain in my ass. We have constant battles about ring tones, volume, use (and frequency of use). So I'm wondering...am I doing (or not doing) something wrong? Does everyone with kids-with-cell phones have to deal with this crap? Thus, a poll.

It's aimed at folks with kids between the ages of 12 and 18, but if your kid is younger and has a cellphone, or is older and still at home (and you're paying the bills), that's cool too. Please, fill out my poll, because I am very curious about this. Thanks!

Poll thisaway! )
mickeym: (spn_jared seriously?)
Against my better judgment, I said yes to letting Justin spend the night tonight. So then we decided to get Taco Bell for dinner. While IN the car the lovely boys started their usual schtick involving sex jokes and smart comments, which is ignorable, mostly, because I'm used to it.

But then. THEN...they say to me, "you should write a sex story about us! Matt and Justin, but you could change the names if you wanted, but it should be about us."

WHILE I WAS DRIVING, PEOPLE! Honestly, these kids are lucky I haven't killed all of us, yet.

Needless to say, my answer went something like HELL, no.

Jesus.
mickeym: (spn_jared seriously?)
Matthew informed me last night, as we were watching television, that Jo (Harvelle) and Kono would make a really hot, really awesome couple. Then he said, "you should write that".

Yeah, let me get right on that. *headdesk*

Why is this my life, people? Seriously.
mickeym: (misc_calvin is horrified)
'This' being the chance to laugh at me *g* I know [livejournal.com profile] raynedanser is probably still snorting and giggling.

The latest in the serial of sex-and-Matthew: )
mickeym: (misc_i heart somebody with aspergers)
Have a link. By way of [livejournal.com profile] dine:

Depresing Newz: Spelcheking During Exams Now OoKay Wit Oragan Schols - "The easiest way to learn how to spell a word right is to spell it wrong and be corrected. By giving kids a digital cheat sheet for every word in their written language, they won't have to learn anything."

And then I thanked Dine by venting all over her journal *g* This was what I said there:

The spelling thing is incredibly depressing, and unfortunately, not surprising. Matthew's been using a calculator in math classes since 6th grade -- they're a required school item, on the "supply list". Not only do they use them in class, but they use them for tests. My child has to be helped through adding anything more than two single digits together (he can't do division or subtraction at all without help). He's a sophomore in high school.

He's always amazed when I can do math in my head (nothing fancy, but I can add/subtract/multiply/divide with the best of 'em) -- quickly -- and I tell him that's because I was taught math when I went to school. He says, "I have math class!" and I tell him he's not being taught *how to do math*, he's being taught how to press buttons in certain orders on his calculator. Big difference. He's equally impressed when he asks how to spell something and I can rattle it off without hardly pausing. Yes, I use spellcheck when I type, but by and large? I KNOW HOW TO SPELL WITHOUT IT.

I read a few of the comments on the page with the spelling article, and got even more depressed. By one in particular, where the commenter was saying something to the effect of how spelling isn't a big deal anyway, since we have spellcheckers built into everything; it's not going to impact a child. Again, pointing to MY child as an example... Matthew is...just a hair above functionally illiterate. He can read, some. It's hard to say for sure what his exact level is, somewhere between 4th and 7th grade for ability (depends on what it is and how it's written), and between 6th and 9th for comprehension (I think). Spelling is a HUGE factor in that. He has trouble sounding words out, and hearing sounds within the words, and he doesn't know how to figure out how tell which is the right word if he's typing something, because his spelling ability is so bad.

He continues to take remedial reading/spelling/writing in school; he probably will all through school. And he's made progress, slowly. But it's incredibly depressing to read that schools are deliberately sabotaging something the kids NEED to learn as a basic skill. What if, heaven forbid, we had some catastrophic event that wiped out electronics, or whatever? Who's going to teach future generations to spell (and do math) if the current ones aren't learning?
mickeym: (misc_uniparent: what's your super power?)
I'm so tired I opened up the "post an entry" page and then just sat here, staring at it. Yeesh.

Day started out with Matthew telling me -- AS WE WERE GETTING READY TO GO TO THE POST OFFICE -- that one of the kids invited/coming is allergic to chocolate. Please keep in mind that Matthew has known for a *week* that I was going to make the Texas Sheetcake for him...and they don't come much chocolate-ier. So after the post office, back we went to Kroger, to get a cake. *headdesk*

Of the 11 or 12 kids invited, five showed up. Several more had told Matthew they were coming, but didn't. And no one called my number to RSVP. Does no one do that any more? Or am I just old enough to think people are being rude if they don't, when asked?

One girl, of the three or four who were invited, came. Poor thing, I felt bad for her, because the boys were all "let's wrestle! let's toss around a football! Hey, isn't XYZ video game awesome?!" She held her own in Balloon Volleyball, though *g*

The one boy who came who is NOT a part of the gruesome threesome (Avery, Justin and Eric)...well. He's a sweet little boy (and I'm not kidding when I say 'little'. If he's five feet tall, I'd be surprised, and he was telling the other kids he weighs about 80lbs -- and he's 15). I've met him several times before; Matthew's had special ed classes with him since the 6th grade. I don't know what his diagnosis is; I know he has a severe speech impediment that makes it really difficult to understand him, and he's hyperactive in a way that reminds me of Matthew, when Matthew was like, five or six. Anyway. Sweet kid, but he can wear on you after a while because he is so *in your face* about everything that it gets to be wearying.

Matthew's really good with him, though he did come to me once *quietly* and say that he was getting to be too much, so I said I would have him call his folks in another 10, 15 min. Meanwhile, Justin starts making some not very nice comments about the kid's speech and hyperness, and man. That shit just ain't gonna fly. Not in my house. (There were a few times the question of 'gay' came up, because Justin and Matthew joke constantly about being the other's boyfriend, etc., and C would yell, "that's DISGUSTING!", and I told him that wasn't allowed in my house. He could think it if he wanted, I have no control over that. But it's not disgusting and I won't tolerate that being said.) ANYWAY. Justin made some comments, so I had to call him in to me and tell him that was uncalled for and equally unacceptable...not to mention just plain NOT NICE.

Tomorrow, we will have a longer discussion about accepting people as they are, and not making fun of any physical or mental challenges they might face. Justin's told me he feels safe and comfortable at my house, and I need him to understand that I want all of Matthew's friends to be able to feel that way here.

Mickey wasn't able to make it after all; she's had uber-bad sinus problems this week, and she ended up getting a really bad noseblood while at the pharmacy picking up prescriptions for said sinus. She called me to tell me she had to go home to change, and by then it was already close to 2:30 -- I told her at that rate it'd be nearly 4 before she got here, and why doesn't she come down tomorrow instead, since we're ordering WWE's Survivor Series pay-per-view (Matthew's bday present from me).

And now? I'm going to take some benadryl to insure I don't wake up until like, NOON, and go to bed. Because I am DONE. Stick a fork in me. I will answer comments tomorrow, too. But first, sleep. Goodnight, LJ.

yikes!

Oct. 27th, 2010 11:32 pm
mickeym: (misc_uniparent: what's your super power?)
The Charmin commercials with the bears? Usually cute and kind of amusing. But the one that starts out with the Papa Bear crooning what sounds like Barry White WHILE CARESSING THE ROLL OF TOILET PAPER? That's just creepy. Yick.

Tomorrow I have the Trustee Meeting for my bankruptcy. I'm anxious, not so much about the meeting itself, but about getting there. Finding parking nearby. Not being late. I'm leaving ridiculously early -- 7a -- even though my appointment isn't until 930a. It's all the way downtown, which means the traffic will be crazy the later I wait to go. I'd rather be early and sit and read while waiting, than be late. But I'll be glad when it's over.

Matthew brought home a copy of the school newspaper today, and while reading through it he says, "hey mom, what does this spell?" and spells out 'provocative'. When I told him the word, then I had to explain to him (and Justin, natch) what it meant. I asked what it was used in. Apparently they had a school-wide poll, "do you think girls dress too provocatively" (or something to that effect). O_O

The best conversation (lately) with my kid was a few days ago, after he went up to Walgreens to buy batteries for his XBox controllers: )
mickeym: (misc_i heart somebody with aspergers)
One way to ensure me freaking out is to text me an unintelligible message, asking 'what do I do mom', and then NOT ANSWER WHEN I CALL YOU BACK.

I've called him three times, I've texted him twice, I've called Doug's phone twice and got voice mail, and I've texted the gf's phone. NO ONE IS ANSWERING. ANYWHERE.

No love,

Your very worried mother


Fuck me, I do not need to be panicking at 12:30 in the morning when it's most likely nothing worth panicking over.

And yet.

ARGH.

ETA: Oh, thank God. Matthew texted me again, and then called and everything's okay. *collapses*
mickeym: (misc_uniparent: what's your super power?)
Yesterday I was telling Matthew about the bizarre dream I had, and when I was done he said, "You have weird dreams. I just have sex dreams." I blinked at him and said oookay, thanks so much for sharing, and then added that he needed to make sure he changes his sheets regularly if he's having those sorts of dreams... and he says "why?"

Which then, of COURSE, led me to having to explain what wet dreams are. *facepalm*

So today he says to me, "you know how you were telling me yesterday about having an orgasm while you sleep?"

I said, "Don't even finish that sentence, I don't want to know."

Cue him laughing so hard he snorted.

I might have to kill him. Anyone up for helping me dispose of the body?
mickeym: (misc_jeff hardy badass motherfucker)
On my kid. God.

He says to me, "I'm going to go for a walk outside and cool down" -- it's cool(er) and breezy outside, so fine. Checks his pocket, says "I have my phone" and then grabs something out of his desk drawer. I get a glimpse of something small/red and ask him, "what's in your pocket?" He says "my wallet". I ask again, he says, "just a note from Mallory I'm going to read". I tell him I know it's not wallet or note, what's in his pocket. Turn his pockets out. He stands in the doorway saying, "it's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing". I reached in his pocket myself and fished out a lighter.

So, asked him where the cigarettes are and he says "I don't have any". I told him I don't believe him -- and I don't. When he came back in, I made him turn off his phone and his computer -- he lied twice, so he gets two items taken away. He sat on the couch and pouted and tried to tell me that he would've gotten in trouble regardless, for having the lighter. I said all I would've done was make you throw it away; it's the lying he's in trouble for, and then he growls, "that's ME, you can't change ME". *headdesk* Then when I asked him to "throw your trash away" (from dinner) he looked at me and said "no". So I told him again to do it, and then sent him up to his room.

The funniest thing is that we went to the bank earlier, and on the way home he says to me, "have you noticed my attitude lately?" I started laughing and said Oh, boy, have I noticed his attitude; it changes so often I'm surprised he doesn't have whiplash. Absolutely, I notice his attitude, it's in my face all the time. Grrr.

Infanticide is still illegal, right?
mickeym: (spn_tech support sammy)
OHMYGOD. Matthew's been up on my computer because I'm down here on the laptop, and he just comes down the stairs and says "I heard this buzzing sound and I was looking around, and I opened a drawer on your desk and found this thing, and what is it?" So I asked him if it's lavender and he said "no, it's silver." (it's really lavender)... and he says "so what is it?" To which I said "it's a vibrator, Matthew." And he's all "what is it?" "it's a vibrator." "Huh?" "IT'S A SEX TOY OKAY?" "Ohmy GOD, Mother!"

Ahh, kids. Life is never, ever, EVER dull with them around.

*headdesk*
mickeym: (spn_sam whatever dude/wtf?)
The Other Child is over, and the boys are playing...something...on XBoxLive. Snippets of conversation:

"He's teabagging it!"
"You WISH it was your ball(s)."
"Now I'm going to teabag you; that's what you get."
"Somebody get me from behind."
"Dude, I just got ganged up on."
"Dude, they came at me with two big swords."
"Did you see how close I got?"
"C'mon, T, we can do this."

I'm sitting here snickering and wondering what those phrases would sound like to someone not totally perverted by slash fandom *g*

(Also? Really hope 'teabagging' means something else in battle jargon than what I understand it to mean. Oi.)
mickeym: (Default)
In all the frantic OHMYGODness of the homework disaster the other night, I forgot to share the one positive, absolutely hilarious (unless you were Matthew *g*) moment of conversation we had.

Him: Blah blah blah talking about something to do with the last SGA ep we watched.
Me: Oh! I was right about the actor who played (whoever the character was) on that ep, he did play the best friend in Ferris Bueller. Recycled actors!
Him: Recycled actors? Huh?
Me: When you see the small one-shot, or small-part actors show up here, there, on a lot of different shows.
Him: Like the guy on the SG-1 clone episode?
Me: Yeah, like him. Or, you know the episode where Jack comes out of cryo-freeze, and thinks he's 75 yrs in the future, and there's a female scientist, doctor, who ends up being a Tok'ra?
Him: *frowns* Yeah...I think so...
Me: Well, that actress also plays Ellen, on SPN.
Him: Really?
Me: Oh, yeah. And MAN, she's *hot*.
Him: *staring suspiciously at me* Hot...like, she's a friend you think is good-looking, or hot like that l-word? (imagine him making "L" noises, trying to remember the word...)
Me: Lesbian?
Him: Yeah! Hot like a friend, or hot like a lesbian, like you would date her?
Me: Oh, I would totally date her. I might have a girlfriend some day.
Him: HOW DID WE GET STARTED ON THIS CONVERSATION?? I'M EATING!
Me: *dissolves into a fit of laughter*
mickeym: (misc_pink elvii for the win)
In all my !!!!! over packing and the debate and everything last night, I forgot the share the absolute highlight of my day yesterday:

Matthew: "Every girl hates me."
Me: "...I doubt every girl in the wor--"
Matthew: "All the girls in my school hate me."
Me: "I seriously doubt it, honey. They're just like you: not sure what to say/do."
Matthew: "I don't want to die a virgin, mom."
Me: "...!!!..."

WE WERE IN THE CAR, people! I WAS DRIVING!

Seriously, it's a testament to my driving skills that I didn't wreck, because if there was anything I was expecting him to say? It wasn't THAT.

*headdesk*

Definitely need to reiterate the "always use condoms, always!" speech.
mickeym: (misc_nipple play clamp and run)
Matthew and I just finished watching Die Hard. The highlight of watching this film with my kid?

When McClane says to the Deputy Chief whatshisname, "You're the one who just got butt-fucked on television" (or something to that effect -- "butt-fucked" was used), Matthew turns to me and says:

"What's butt-f'd mean?"

*headdesk*

I explained it. "M/f sex is penis-into-vagina; when two guys have sex, they use the anus (him: 'anus'? me: 'where you poop from'), thus it's called anal sex...butt sex...butt fucking. It's a very crude way of saying "you're screwed"."

The look on his face was pretty entertaining, but please God, or whomever is listening, I don't want to have another conversation like that any time soon. Good grief!

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